Master the Mood Elevator

elevator

Master Your Moods

 

“The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.” –Marcus Aurelius

 

I’m sure you’ve had this day:

You wake up and you’re feeling amazing. Then you spill something on your clothes at breakfast and get stuck in a traffic jam on the way to work. You realize you will be late for your first appointment, and your frustration grows by the minute.

Fast forward hours later, and you’re feeling great again.

Up and down. Down and Up.

How do you stop the wild mood swings?

 

“Things turn out best for people who make the best of the way things turn out.” –Anonymous

 

CEO Forum Magazine dubbed him the “father of organizational culture” and thousands have attended his company’s training programs. Larry Senn is chairman and founder of Senn Delaney, a firm dedicated to helping organizations shape their culture. I recently spoke to him about his new book, The Mood Elevator: Take Charge of Your Feelings, Become a Better You.

He helps you understand your moods and gain control, limiting the time in the basement and helping you stay in the upper floors.

 

Develop a Healthy Response

The Mood Elevator. Unfortunately, all of us are experienced with the dramatic ride. What are some of the triggers that cause a sudden shift in floors?

Yes, to be human means we all ride the Mood Elevator. Since our thoughts create our moods, dramatic drops in mood come from big shifts in our thinking. We start our day in a great place and high mood after a morning run and a good breakfast. Then we open an email, and a colleague says he heard we may not be closing the deal we were counting on. Our mind starts to spin as we run through all the possible negative consequences of that happening. That creates feelings down the Mood Elevator like insecurity, worry, self-judgement and mild depression.

Things like that happen in major and minor ways as life comes at us. What’s interesting is how we each deal with circumstances can be very different. Another person might get the same email and go to curiosity, a much healthier level, first. “I wonder what that might be about or if it is even true – I’ll check it out.” They might also go to creative and resourceful and start to think about all the ways they can best secure the deal.

As Shakespeare said, “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

 

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” -Shakespeare

 

Would you comment on any career limitations and/or leadership problems you’ve seen due to leaders not having conscious control of their floor?

I have observed CEOs self-destruct as well as very smart and capable leaders ruin their careers and their marriages because they lacked emotional control and led from the lower floors of the Mood Elevator. I’ve also seen leaders become world class CEOs by learning how to better ride the Mood Elevator.

The reason is simple − our thinking is reliable and wise when in the higher mood states, while it is very unreliable in the lower floors. Anyone who has ever said something to a loved one they wished they could take back has experienced the phenomenon. We have very low emotional intelligence (EQ) when down the elevator. That means leaders can’t build great teams, create great cultures, be as creative or make good decisions from the lower floors of the elevator.

 

“We become what we think about all day long.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Use Your Feelings as a Guide

You talk about the power to brake. What are a few ways we can slow, stop or resist our emotional impulses?

It all starts with learning to use your feelings as your guide. When we are self-aware, we can tell when we are worrying, angry, judgmental, self-righteous or depressed. We will all experience those feelings at times. Think about it like having to drive on an icy road at night. You may have to do it, but you proceed with caution. Delay big decisions, pause before putting your foot in your mouth, and tell yourself your thinking is likely to be flawed.

 

the mood elevator Copyright Larry Senn; Used by Permission

 

When unwanted things happen or people do things that don’t make sense to me, I have feelings of intensity. That’s my clue. What I find most helpful is to first pause, take a deep breath and center myself. Then I try to use what I call in the book the “brake” on the Mood Elevator. That break is shifting my thinking from judgement to curiosity. What am I missing here? Why might that have made sense to them in their thinking? What lesson can I learn from that? As I tell leaders in our off-sites, if they just lived more of their life in curiosity instead of judgment they would have a different experience of life and different results.

 

“Happiness is not the absence of problems-it’s the ability to deal with them” –Steve Maraboli

 

Would you talk about “living in mild preference?”

7 Qualities to Give You An Edge

Competitive edge

Gain An Edge

 

“Energy and persistence conquer all things.” –Benjamin Franklin

 

He arrived in the USA from Ireland with ninety-two dollars. He’s since founded a successful business training company and is a leading business expert. Brian Buffini shares his success formula in his new book, The Emigrant Edge: How to Make It Big in America.

Brian’s focus in on emigrants, but the success principles are universal. I recently asked him about his new book.

 

“The greatest use of a life is to spend it on something that will outlast it.” –William James

 

You outline the characteristics of successful emigrants and argue that these can be mastered by anyone seeking success.  Tell us about your story. Is the approach different as an emigrant?

I’m Irish, and where I come from emigration is a very big deal. I moved to this great country as a nineteen-year-old with ninety-two dollars in my pocket, and now I’m a wealthy businessman. I’m the classic American rags-to-riches story. But I haven’t just acquired material wealth since I came here. I also possess a priceless internal fulfillment that no amount of money can buy. Why have I succeeded when people who are born and raised here haven’t?  I believe I have the Emigrant Edge – a special mix of qualities that have given me a head start over native-born Americans. My life’s work has been dedicated to teaching people how to live the American Dream. I believe no matter where you’re from, you too can adopt these traits in your own life and attain success beyond your wildest dreams.  I hope my new book THE EMIGRANT EDGE will help people live the American Dream.

 

7 Traits of Success from Brian Buffini

  1. A voracious desire to learn.
  2. A do whatever it takes mind-set
  3. A willingness to outwork others
  4. A heartfelt spirit of gratitude
  5. A boldness to invest
  6. A commitment to delay gratification
  7. An appreciation of where they came from

 

Turn off the TV and turn on learning

Voracious openness to learn. Turning off trash TV and turning on learning opportunities sounds easy to do, but it’s also easy not to do. What’s your advice on how to embrace learning? Emigrant Edge book cover

It is easy to lose yourself in mindless TV or spend hours on social media. However, you need to stay focused on things that help you grow. You need to upgrade your input – and that includes what you read, watch, and listen to.  Continuing professional development is also vital.  You need to invest in your learning.  If you lack the skills needed for today’s market, the market will quickly render you redundant. Part of the secret is finding accountability partners – it could be a good friend, a mentor, or a coach – to help you stay focused and reach out of your comfort zone. Finally, you need to apply what you have learned.  Listening is never enough – you must apply the teaching if you want your life to change.

 

“Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” –Bill Bradley

 

How can people develop a Do-Whatever-It-Takes Mindset?

How to Manage to Make a Difference

make a difference

Make a Difference

If you’re a new manager, you may find yourself in unfamiliar territory faster than you can imagine. How do you handle the gossiping employee? Or the top performer about to jump ship? How do you develop a high-performance team?

Larry Sternberg and Kim Turnage have literally packed numerous tips, strategies, tools and techniques for managers into the pages of their new book, Managing to Make a Difference: How to Engage, Retain, & Develop Talent for Maximum Performance. I recently spoke with Larry about their new work.

 

“We can change the world and make it a better place.” -Nelson Mandela

 

Why Employee Orientation is All Wrong

Your book starts out saying that we have employee orientation all wrong. We too often start with scare tactics and explaining what will result in termination. What does this do to new employees?

Frankly, the gratuitous negativity turns people off. The new employer is building the case for termination on day one! Also, it’s just plain boring. Negative and boring are not strategies to increase engagement and positivity about starting a new job.

You might say that these kinds of statements are necessary in our litigious society. We happen to disagree with that point of view. But even if we were to agree that they are necessary, they diminish your efforts to engage and retain people.

Imagine you’re dating someone, and you start a discussion about being exclusive and moving in together. The other person replies, “I’d love to do that! But first I want to make sure you understand the reasons I might decide to end this relationship.” How would that make you feel?

 

Go Ahead: Get Close to Your Team

I loved your advice on getting close to people. I’ve long advocated this. What are the benefits of getting close to people at work?

When you cultivate close, positive relationships with your employees (and among your employees), every employee spends his day with people he really likes and cares about. This increases job satisfaction, engagement and morale. Teamwork improves because employees are more likely to go the extra mile for people they care about. When problems occur, employees with good relationships will resolve them more easily. A leader who has close relationships with her employees can exert more influence on them without using her power. For instance, when she asks for extra effort, they’re more likely to give it.

 

Leadership Tip: the closer you are to someone, the easier it is to influence that person.

 

Talk about the importance of setting expectations.

How to Manage A Players

How to Manage A Players

Whether you’re leading a football team or an entrepreneurial venture, you want to hire the best and the brightest.

You want A Players.

 


“On average, an A Player produces at least two times the work of the B Player.” -Rick Crossland

 

Hiring A Players is only the beginning. Keeping them engaged and performing at the highest level is a leadership challenge.

In this short video interview, I speak with Rick Crossland about A Players and how to manage and lead A Players.

I previously interviewed Rick on How to Become an A Player. In today’s interview, I asked him about leading and managing A Players.

Rick is an author, speaker, and consultant. His nearly three decades of experience developing, recruiting, and leading high performers is evident in every chapter of his new book, The A Player: The Definitive Playbook and Guide for Employees and Leaders Who Want to Play and Perform at the Highest Level.

We discuss:

 

3 Definitions of an A Player:

  1. Top 10% of industry
  2. Employee you would enthusiastically rehire
  3. An employee that makes you say “wow!”

 

How to Manage an A Player

“Leaders must be a step ahead.”

 


“Leaders must be a step ahead.” -Rick Crossland

 

How to On-Board the A Player

Add Some Sparkle to Your Service

Drive Innovative Service

 

Providing incredible service.

You want to provide service that sparkles, service that stands out, service that inspires.

That’s core to Chip R. Bell’s mission. He helps organizations deliver not only “core service” but a service that is value-unique.

I recently spoke with him about his latest book, Kaleidoscope:  Delivering Innovative Service That Sparkles.

 

“Life is full of common enchantment waiting for our alchemist eyes to notice.” -Jacob Norby

 

Mirror Core Values

Why a kaleidoscope?

We think of a kaleidoscope as a creator of colorful images—like great service.  But, the images are created by the way jewels are mirrored.  Innovative service that is profoundly remarkable has character—core values reflected or mirrored in its delivery.  The images produced may change, but the jewels never change.  We do not open up a kaleidoscope and put in more gems or jewels. 

 

“Try to be the rainbow in someone’s cloud.” -Maya Angelou

 

Give us an example of “innovative service that sparkles”?

It is the diner waitress who places a bouquet of flowers on your table and tells you they were sent to her the day before by her husband for their anniversary, “…and, I just wanted to share them with you.”  It is a service tech in an auto dealership who programs in the radio stations into a customer’s new car from her trade-in and just lets the customer discover it.  It is the flight attendant on a flight who writes you a personal handwritten note thanking you for your loyalty.

 

“Customer loyalty comes from making the experience unique and special.” -Chip Bell

 

Leadership Values to Create Powerful Service

What are some of the leadership values that are essential to creating an authentic, powerful service experience?

First, it is leaders creating a clear, compelling purpose, vision or mission—in terms that both instruct and inspire.  Second, it is leaders who demonstrate (by their actions) that they have complete trust in their employees.  Third, it is leaders who treat employees with the same care and attention they expect those employees to demonstrate to customers.   Finally, it is leaders who constantly look for ways to more effectively resource their front line (support, training, authority, guidance, etc.).

 

What makes a customer loyal?

Loyalty comes from many practices.  It starts with a demonstration of respect and gratitude.  Customers have many options; we should thank them for choosing us. It is about promise keeping—always being worthy of the customer’s trust.  It includes looking for ways to involve customers—people care when they share.  It also involves helping customers get smarter.  And, loyalty can also come from making the experience unique and special.

 

“Loyalty starts with a demonstration of respect and gratitude.” -Chip Bell

 

What are some of the ways the best organizations stand out and sparkle? 

The best organizations decorate as many customers’ experiences as they can.  Making experiences special signals you care.   They care about long term relationships far more than short-term transactions.  They are community-centered and work to be great citizens in the space where they do business.  They promote growth—for associates and customers.  And, they go out of their way to celebrate greatness (and goodness).

 

“Neglect is more dangerous than strife; apathy costlier than error.” -Chip Bell

 

Inspire a Culture of Service