15 Powerful Phrases That Will Make You A Better Leader

Powerful Phrases That Will Make You Better

Years ago, I was walking down a long office corridor in a nondescript office building. Visiting one of the largest companies in the area, I was being escorted to a conference room. What the purpose of that visit was, I really can’t remember.

But I do remember walking by one room. As I was passing by, I glanced in and saw a man at the front of a room filled with maybe twenty or so people. That would not be in my memory bank except for what I next heard.

 

“I’m sorry, I screwed that up and let you all down.”

 

That’s not something you often hear from the front of the room.

I froze, right in the doorway, wondering what he was apologizing for and what was going on. It took me a few seconds to realize that I had no business stopping to watch, so I willed my feet to keep walking.

In those few seconds, I don’t know the details of what happened. But I could discern that this was the boss, and he wasn’t holding back. He had made a mistake and was taking full responsibility for it.

It was impressive. I wonder what the others in that room thought. My guess is that they still talk about this boss of theirs.

 


“Words can inspire and words can destroy. Choose your words well.” -Robin Sharma

 

There are a few power-packed phrases that anyone can use to change the course of a conversation. Here are a few that leaders use to transform their teams:

 

“I’m sorry.”

As I said above, this one is powerful because it’s unexpected, and it demonstrates both self-awareness and personal responsibility. That’s not a boss who looks to throw the blame faster than a quarterback about to be sacked.

“Leaders who apologize demonstrate personal accountability.” -Skip Prichard

 

“Tell me more.”

It’s open-ended. It shows interest. It demonstrates listening skills.

 

“What’s working?”

Especially good if everyone is complaining. This one refocuses on what’s positive. You can build on what’s working before you get into what’s not.

 

“I’m proud of you.”

It sounds parental and maybe that’s where its power lies. But I’ve seen this one both as a giver and a receiver. When it’s sincere, it’s a powerful phrase because it is clear and concise.


“Next to excellence is the appreciation of it.” -William Makepeace Thackeray

 

“How can I be of help?”

I’m often surprised at the response. It may be that simply offering an ear helps enough, but often there are a few specifics that really make a difference and are easy to do.

Do You Have A Leadership Lifeline?

Leadership Lifelines

It’s 10:25 a.m. on a Thursday.  Your calendar indicates that you have a meeting with your boss at 10:30 in her office to update her on an important company project.  You grab a pen, your notepad, and a printout outlining the status of each open item.

Walking into her office, you immediately realize that the meeting agenda will be different.  Sitting next to your boss is the Human Resources Director.  Your boss says, “Sit down. There’s no easy way to say this, but your position has been eliminated.”

You’re not sure whether they see you gasp for air.  The sharp breath you take is to try to slow yourself down.  You feel heat rushing up into your face like lava erupting from a volcano.  Your heartbeat feels like you are running as it begins to pound faster.

You don’t even hear the rest of the dialogue. You stare blankly as your boss exits the room, and you are left with HR and a stack of paper.

 

“Facing your fears robs them of their power.” -Mark Burnett

 

What are you going to do?

 

The Stress of Losing a Job

Losing your job rates as one of life’s biggest stressors.  That stress ratchets up dramatically if you have little or no savings.  But it’s not just about money.  For many, it’s also about identity.  Losing friends and colleagues, and feeling ostracized, are also contributing factors.

And in most cases it is a blow to self-esteem.  Often your higher-level thinking will lose out to emotions. Change is hard, especially when you don’t control it.

 

“You have power over your mind, not outside events. Realize this and you will find strength.” -Marcus Aurelius

 

After you lose your employment, experts quickly tell you that you need to network.  Because, they will say, the way to a new job is through your network.

  • “Who do you know?”
  • “Who is in a position to help you?”
  • “Who are the most influential people in your network?”
  • “Who will you ask to be references?”

I have been both the recipient and the originator of networking calls. If you are looking for a job, you are inevitably going to call everyone you can.

Because I have a large network, most months I receive several calls or emails from people looking for work.  I truly feel for these people. I understand the challenge.  It’s stressful. Earlier on, I tried to help everyone.  Now, though I try, I just don’t have the time or bandwidth to help most people. That’s difficult for me because I want to help every person that I possibly can in these difficult situations.

 

“It’s not stress that kills us, it’s our reaction to it.” -Hans Seyle

 

Common and Uncommon Advice

Advice you will often hear: Network. Build your connections. Meet people at industry events. Become an expert in your field.

Here’s the advice you don’t often hear:

Phrases Successful Leaders Never Use

This is a guest post by Zoe Anderson. Zoe is part of the team behind StudySelect. She’s interested in finding new motivation tools and branding strategies. After one of my recent posts on words, this submission grabbed my attention.

The Power of Words

Words have power. Just ask any successful leader. Whether in business, politics, or life, the right words can open the doors of opportunity, while the wrong words can get that same door slammed in your face.

With this list of phrases that you will never hear a successful leader use, you can benefit from the wisdom of others and avoid having the doors of opportunity and success closed to you.

 

“That’s not my fault.”

Good leaders always take responsibility and would never dream of throwing their subordinates under the bus by trying to shift blame. If you always take responsibility, you will gain the trust and loyalty of your team.

 

 

“I’m the boss.”

If you have to keep reminding your team who is in charge, then you are showing your weakness as a leader. Confidence, rather than arrogance is the attitude you should be aiming for. People naturally follow confidence, while arrogance invites contempt.

 

“I’ll do it myself.”

This shows a lack of confidence in your team and sends the message that no one else is as good as you are. If you find that your team isn’t performing up to standard, it’s your job to guide them through and get them the help they need. The first attempts at doing something will rarely yield stellar results. You may need to give people a little space to fail at first so you can give them the feedback they need to improve.

 

4 Ways to Get Appreciated at Work

 

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”  -William James

 

Undervalued

 

Usually, I would run into my friend at the gym.  He was always full of energy, smiling, and lifting more weight than seemed humanly possible.

One day, I was leaving when I noticed him arriving at the gym.  He was walking slower than normal with his shoulders slumped.  His trademark smile was missing.

Though I really didn’t have time to talk, I asked him how he was.

“I’m good,” he responded, a bit too quickly and with an even less convincing acting job than he realized.

 

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.”  -William James

 

“Want to grab a cup of coffee and chat for a minute?” I asked.

We sat down at a table with our coffee.  I’m not one to waste much time and jumped right to the issue.

“What’s up?  You are clearly down.  Why?  What’s going on in your life?”

“I don’t know.  The Preds lost last night.”

I knew him well enough to know that his hockey team losing a game was not the cause of his change in attitude.  Here was a guy who would regularly bounce off of walls with his energy.

I didn’t even need to say anything.  He could read skepticism in my face.  If he missed it, I would recommend he check his vision.

“Ok.  I just feel unappreciated at work.  I turn something in, and I just get overloaded with more and more.  Every once in a while, a little recognition would be nice.  Maybe a bonus?  Heck, even a beer would be cool.”

Appreciation.  It’s what William James says is the greatest human need.

Stay at home moms (or dads):  you know what this is about more than most.  Thankless chores.  Constant demands.  And the world shows little respect for your efforts.

 

“I praise loudly. I blame softly.” -Catherine the Great

 

Reasons Your Boss Does Not Appreciate Your Work

 

There are many reasons you may be unappreciated at work.

Here are a few:

You’re not doing a good job.

You’re boss doesn’t realize the work you are doing.

Your boss is overworked and overwhelmed.

Your boss is a jerk.

Your boss isn’t skilled in recognizing others.

Your boss has childhood issues and needs therapy.

 

I shared with my friend some ideas for him to consider:

You should change your perspective.

More work may equal appreciation.  Your boss may be recognizing your good work by giving you more work.  He may not be expressing it in the way that you want to hear it, but for some people this is how it works.  More work = great job!  When you think of it that way, you may find ways to utilize this for your benefit.

Tips for New Graduates: How to Start Your Professional Life

This time of year is full of graduation ceremonies, resume writing and job searches.  It seems everyone is looking for good advice for those just starting a new career.

I recently asked Robert Dilenschneider
  for his advice for those just starting a professional career.  Robert is the founder and Chairman of The Dilenschneider Group, a global public relations and communications consulting firm headquartered in New York City. He is the author of many books, including the best-selling Power and Influence and the newly-released The Critical First Years of Your Professional Life.

 

Find the Right Culture

 

Most job seekers think, “I just want to get a job anywhere” but you point out that finding the right cultural fit is important.  Why is it important to know the culture of the organization you are potentially joining?

The cultural environment of a workplace can be critically important.  If the core beliefs, value systems, and behavior patterns of many of the people one works alongside of differ perceptibly from yours, you will never feel at home, be able to perform at your highest level, and move upward in the organization.  That is just a realistic fact of workplace life.  Taking a job “anywhere” can upend one’s career track significantly.

The Critical First Years of Your Professional LifeWhen you are outside looking in, reading the recruiting materials and looking at the website, how do you figure out the culture?

Figuring out a firm’s culture from the outside may not be easy.  Cultural climate and identity have to be experienced directly.  But asking the right questions of a future employer, or of anyone you may know now working at a particular company, could be very helpful.

Let’s talk about the boss. You say, “Every day when you go into work, you want to determine — quickly — where the match is between your bosses’ goals, strengths, and weaknesses and yours.”  What is a “match” and how do you find it?  How do you create a good relationship and the right fit?

Again, verbal exchanges with your boss or manager are essential.  But colleagues, who’ve been working at a specific job longer than you, can probably be a font of valuable information about the person or persons one reports to — their likes and dislikes and, most importantly, their on-the-job objectives.

 

Work the Grapevine

 

Working the grapevine is not something that most of us learn in school. Why is this so important?