Asking for Help is a Sign of Strength

Leadership Skill: Asking for Help

I don’t even recall how the argument started.

Somehow a simple text message morphed from a few sentences to an arrow that found its mark, spearing into an area that was still inflamed from other hits.

You know how that happens. A few words conjure up deeply-held emotions, past hurts, yet unspoken pain.

We worked it out, my friend and I, and our friendship survived and deepened because of it.

At the end of one difficult conversation, he said something that stuck with me: “Skip, you may think you’re fully transparent, and I guess in some ways you are. But,” his voice trailed off.

I waited, wondering what the next words would be.

“But, you’re not really good at asking for help.”

For many years, I’ve told the people who work for me that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

There is truth to Richard Bach’s quote, “We teach best what we most need to learn.”

 

“We teach best what we most need to learn.” -Richard Bach

 

My Request for Help

Keep reading to see my personal request for help. I can’t tell you how appreciative I am for the assistance.

 

Learn to Ask for Help

I prefer to give—to be someone who serves. When I was a teenager, I worked in a restaurant and just felt better when I was the one pouring a drink rather than sitting there getting served. It just makes me comfortable. I’d rather host a party than attend one.

Pride can stop us from asking others. But so can humility. Pride says, “I have no need of anyone because I can do anything.” Humility says, “My needs are not worthy enough to bother anyone.”

So you can’t judge the “why” behind someone not asking.

Learning to ask for help just seems harder for some people than for others. When others ask in a polite manner for something, I’m in awe. It impresses me. I guess because it’s hard for me to do. And it’s a crucially important leadership skill.

Keep reading to the bottom and see what I’m asking.

 

Asking for help:

Shows vulnerability.

Brene Brown teaches the power of vulnerability. She says that, “Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen.”

 

Increases our connectedness.

Nadeem Aslam writes, “Pull a thread here and you’ll find it’s attached to the rest of the world.” As I ask you to help me, I’m increasing that attachment to you and to others.

37 Quotes to Become a Better Listener

Listen Up!

Listen up,” she said in a voice that was obviously coming from a strong mother, “You had your choice.”

I don’t know what the argument was about, but I noticed her kneeling down, talking to a boy who was about four or five years old. This kid may have been insistent, but my bet was on the mom. She was having none of it.

But, what she said next got my attention, “You are going to learn to listen. That’s a skill you will thank me for later.”

Wow. Not what I expected.

I walked away, thinking how lucky that little guy was to have a mom so intent on teaching him how to be a better listener. One day, he may owe his success to it.

It’s something I have been working on. We all need to listen more. It is one thing to listen, and another to be a listener.

 

Quotes to Help Us Listen Well

Here are some quotes on listening well that may inspire you to become a better listener:

 

“The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT.” –Alfred Brendel

 

“When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.” –Ernest Hemingway

 

“If speaking is silver, then listening is gold.” -Turkish Proverb

 

“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.”  -Lisa M. Hayes

 

“Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.” -Winston Churchill

 

“Sometimes the most influential thing we can do is listen.” –Bob Burg

 

“The first duty of love is to listen.” –Paul Tillich

 

“There is a voice that doesn’t use words. Listen.” –Rumi

 

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” –Doug Larson

 

“You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view.” –Harper Lee

 

“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.” -Jimi Hendrix

 

“It takes a great man to be a good listener.” –Calvin Coolidge

 

“Listening is being able to be changed by the other person.” –Alan Alda

 

“Whoever answers before listening is both foolish and shameful.” -Proverbs 18:13

 

“One of the greatest skills any leader can master is becoming comfortable with silence.” -David Grossman

 

“The art of conversation lies in listening.” -Malcom Forbes

 

“You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time.” -M. Scott Peck

 

“Listen like every sentence matters; talk like every word counts.” –Geoffrey Tumlin

 

“One friend, one person who is truly understanding, who takes the trouble to listen to us as we consider a problem, can change our whole outlook on the world.” -E. H. Mayo

 

“God speaks to us every day only we don’t know how to listen.” -Mahatma Gandhi

 

“Big egos have little ears.” -Robert Schuller

 

“A leader must be a good listener. He must be willing to take counsel. He must show a genuine concern and love for those under his stewardship.” –James Faust

 

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“The single most important key to success is to be a good listener.” –Kelly Wearstler

 

“Be a good listener. Your ears will never get you in trouble.” –Frank Tyger