15 Powerful Phrases That Will Make You A Better Leader

Powerful Phrases That Will Make You Better

Years ago, I was walking down a long office corridor in a nondescript office building. Visiting one of the largest companies in the area, I was being escorted to a conference room. What the purpose of that visit was, I really can’t remember.

But I do remember walking by one room. As I was passing by, I glanced in and saw a man at the front of a room filled with maybe twenty or so people. That would not be in my memory bank except for what I next heard.

 

“I’m sorry, I screwed that up and let you all down.”

 

That’s not something you often hear from the front of the room.

I froze, right in the doorway, wondering what he was apologizing for and what was going on. It took me a few seconds to realize that I had no business stopping to watch, so I willed my feet to keep walking.

In those few seconds, I don’t know the details of what happened. But I could discern that this was the boss, and he wasn’t holding back. He had made a mistake and was taking full responsibility for it.

It was impressive. I wonder what the others in that room thought. My guess is that they still talk about this boss of theirs.

 


“Words can inspire and words can destroy. Choose your words well.” -Robin Sharma

 

There are a few power-packed phrases that anyone can use to change the course of a conversation. Here are a few that leaders use to transform their teams:

 

“I’m sorry.”

As I said above, this one is powerful because it’s unexpected, and it demonstrates both self-awareness and personal responsibility. That’s not a boss who looks to throw the blame faster than a quarterback about to be sacked.

“Leaders who apologize demonstrate personal accountability.” -Skip Prichard

 

“Tell me more.”

It’s open-ended. It shows interest. It demonstrates listening skills.

 

“What’s working?”

Especially good if everyone is complaining. This one refocuses on what’s positive. You can build on what’s working before you get into what’s not.

 

“I’m proud of you.”

It sounds parental and maybe that’s where its power lies. But I’ve seen this one both as a giver and a receiver. When it’s sincere, it’s a powerful phrase because it is clear and concise.


“Next to excellence is the appreciation of it.” -William Makepeace Thackeray

 

“How can I be of help?”

I’m often surprised at the response. It may be that simply offering an ear helps enough, but often there are a few specifics that really make a difference and are easy to do.

23 Hacks to Boost Your Creativity Instantly: FREE Webinar

Awaken the Creative Genius Inside

 

Do you think of yourself as creative?

Ever wish you could be just 5% more innovative?

Do you know how to create an environment that fuels your creative genius?

 

“Vision is the art of seeing the invisible.” –Jonathan Swift

 

Each of us can become more creative. Inside YOU is creative genius, as unique to you as your fingerprints.

It’s up to you to unlock it.

Over many years, I’ve had the opportunity to interview numerous experts in the field of creativity and innovation. Whether learning from an entrepreneur or an artist, I have collected some of the best advice available on how to boost your creativity.

And these experts have shared with me what we get wrong when we think about innovation. There are myths that we believe to our own creative detriment. Don’t believe these limitations which lock you in to a dull, gray world!

 

“This world is but a canvas to our imagination.” –Henry David Thoreau

 

Unlock Your Creative Genius!

You can now access a FREE webinar designed to Unlock Your Creative Genius.

It’s free to all Leadership Insight subscribers.

So, don’t wait! Subscribe today and claim your seat in this online webinar.

If you do, you’ll learn the:

  • #1 true enemy of innovation
  • 9 myths and misconceptions about creativity
  • Why being stubborn and unreasonable may be just the ticket
  • 8 symptoms of a culture lacking in innovation
  • 4 creative styles
  • 23 hacks to boost your creativity instantly
  • What color to paint your room to increase your creativity
  • How to use exhaustion to your creative benefit
  • What color to make your wallpaper on your phone
  • How to use procrastination to help create masterpieces

Unlock YOUR creative genius! Learn how anyone, anywhere can tap into the innovator inside.

 

“You can’t use up creativity. The more you use, the more you have.” –Maya Angelou

 

“Creativity is the way I share my soul with the world.” -Brene Brown

 

“Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.” -Dorothy Parker

 

Why not make this the year where you uncover the artist, the innovator, the creative genius inside of you?

 

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Lessons from Life’s Most Precious Moments

On My 25th Anniversary Moments that Change Your Destiny

There are moments in time that change everything.

Lightning strikes a tree and alters the course of a stream causing two rivers to join.

You’ve heard of the butterfly effect, where one small creature flapping its wings and creating a small wind current causes a chain reaction that alters hemispheric weather patterns half a world away.

When I think back on my own life, there are a few of those major moments that changed my life. Had just one person, one event, one little part of the equation been altered, even the slightest bit, who knows how different my own life would be.

 

“A good life is a collection of happy moments.” -Denis Waitley

 

Pay Attention to Chance Encounters

Skip & Anita PrichardOne of those moments happened in 1990. I walked into a crowded room, looked up, and met eyes with the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Everything slowed down for a moment, the world tipping on its axis, freezing time long
enough to suspend us for a few seconds. It was immediate. It was intense. It was like nothing I’d known before.

Only a short time later, this week in 1992, she stood in the back of a church, the light flooding in through a stained-glass window behind her. She seemed to almost float there, as if she were an angel who was given the option to become fully human and was making her choice by joining her life with mine. From the front of the church, I sang to her, and she walked up the aisle and then we sang a duet together. Our lives forever changed. Yes, it was exactly like one of those Hallmark movies, the story line either inspiring or sickeningly sweet, depending on your perspective.

 

“Forever is composed of nows.” -Emily Dickinson

 

Harness the Power of Now

Moments change us. Looking back, I realize the power of the moment, the importance of noticing, the beauty of mindful observation, the strength of awareness.fullsizerender-2-2

So many people who were there with us on that day twenty-five years ago are gone:

  • Our matron of honor and my best man that day were my grandparents. They were so surprised and honored to be asked. It was one of the highlights of their lives together.
  • Others are gone, too: aunts, friends, my other grandparents, who were so gracious that day. My grandmother looked in the camera and thanked my wife “for being one of us now.”

Time marches forward. I’m now that guy that can tell others how to make a marriage last twenty-five years.

There are other moments that stand out:

Buying our first home together. How we managed, I’m not sure, but we did on a shoestring budget. We remember our near panic when we received that first utility bill, wondering how we would pay it.

The birth of our daughter in 1997. We recall every single minute. My wife’s elated cry out to me when her water broke. Hours later, my daughter surprising the nurses by tracking me by my voice.

A health scare. Only months afterward, we were surprised again with another altering moment. I’ll never forget the doctor coming out, telling me that my wife had breast cancer, and that she was about to come out of anesthesia. We would have to tell her together. It was advanced enough to require radiation and chemotherapy. She lost her hair but never her spirit. In a few months’ time, her faith began to sprout faster than her hair, and she has never wavered in her belief.

 

“It is in our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.” -Aristotle Onassis

 

Life-threatening disease. Years later, we learned she had another cancer. This one even more insidious, threatening once again to steal her away, to shatter the glass of our lives. We’ve learned to pray more in these moments. No one prays in good times quite the same as in challenging times. We don’t know the why behind them. Perhaps God uses them to get our attention, perhaps because we’re finally still enough to see what is always there, and yet we miss it as we race by the important on the way to the meaningless.

Fortunately, she once again beat cancer. This one showed us the incredible blessing of friends who were there for us through every moment.

 

“Flowers grow out of dark moments.” -Corita Kent

 

Then there are the career moments. When she left hers to fight cancer and stay home to raise our daughter. When my promotions started. Her belief in me fueled my success. From the outside, my job promotions looked miraculous. The truth behind them was more struggle, political battles, and more work than you’d want to know. Nothing came easy. And it seems we moved so often that my wife put our furniture on wheels. In fact, it was our move to Columbus from Nashville that opened our eyes into how much junk we were carting around, stuff from decades ago, some of it in boxes not opened in several moves.

How Great Leaders Master Conversation to Create Trust

Conversational Intelligence

My whole life I’ve been a student of success. Many people are surprised to learn that it’s not always technical expertise, extensive training, or even the highest I.Q. that creates sustainable success. There are a range of other skills that are critically important.

 

Learn to Be a Master Conversationalist

One of those important skills is conversation. That’s right. Learning to be a master conversationalist can help propel your success.

Author Judith Glaser is an expert in conversations. Her new book, Conversational Intelligence: How Great Leaders Build Trust and Get Extraordinary Results makes the latest research from neuroscience accessible and practical for all of us to apply immediately. Judith is the CEO of Benchmark Communications, Inc. whose clients range from American Express to IBM. She helps people boost Conversational Intelligence (C-IQ). I reached out to her to learn more about her work.

 


“Everything happens through conversations!” -Judith E. Glaser

 

A Simple Conversation is Anything But

Most of us think of conversations as casual, but you reveal that they are much more than what they appear. What has your research revealed about the power and importance of conversation?

Conversational Intelligence is the intelligence hardwired into every human being to enable us to navigate successfully with others. Through language and conversations, we learn to build trust, to bond, to grow to each other, and to create our societies. There is no more powerful skill hardwired into every human being than the wisdom of conversations.

Conversations are not just the words we use when engaging with others. Our 35 years of research shows that conversations are the golden thread that keeps human beings connected relationally, neuro-chemically, and energetically. Our brain has the ability to ‘signal’ us when the connection feels like ‘distrust’ or when we feel ‘trust.’

Conversations happen like this:

Our conversations take place against the backdrop of our brain chemistry. Our state of mind – and our level of trust and distrust – directly impacts what kinds of conversations we have and how we interpret them. Equally so, our conversations impact how much we trust someone, or don’t.

Brain chemistry is like a symphony, moving us to higher or lower levels of trust or distrust as we converse with others. The brain is where trust lives or dies, and if we are threatened during our conversations, we activate the distrust networks, and if we are feeling trust, we activate the trust networks. According to Angelika Dimoka, Temple University, Fox School of Business, distrust takes place in the lower brain (the amygdala and limbic areas) and trust takes place in the higher brain (the prefrontal cortex).

In other words, the distrust, or fear network, closes down most of our thinking brain, giving power to our emotional and action brain, while the trust network opens up access to our executive brain – the neo-cortex and prefrontal cortex.

 


“Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens.” -Carl Jung

 

3 Levels of Conversation

What are the 3 Levels of Conversation?

All human beings, from the time they were born, can access 3 Levels of Conversation. We are hardwired for all 3. 

Level I: Informational conversations are transactional – we are most interested in giving or receiving information. These conversations remain at Level I, and don’t activate fear networks, stimulate questions about the impact of the transaction, nor lead to deep exploration of consequences or building strategies and plans. This level is informational.

Level II: Positional conversations are designed to bring clarity, understanding and influence how the other person feels and thinks. We advocate our own opinions and inquire into others’ perspectives. If this inquiry is based on shared curiosity and respect, conversations will be healthy, and the networks of trust will be activated.

But if one or more participants are more focused on making a point or taking a stand, conversations turn to debate, signaling to our brain that we are dealing not with a ‘friend’ but a ‘foe.’ In response, the brain releases cortisol and closes down, or the amygdala becomes hijacked.

 

Copyright Judith Glaser. Used by permission. Copyright Judith Glaser. Used by permission.

 

Conversational Intelligence enables us to learn to control this release. Rather than jumping to conclusions, we can instead “wait and see” how the other person reacts. If the other person shows trust, fairness, or reciprocity, then we can sustain healthy brain chemistry and build trust, creating a culture where people are open to share, discover and co-create.  

Level III:  Relational Conversations build meaning and create connections, which release oxytocin, the bonding hormone. When we care about what others think and feel, our brain senses not only safety; the prefrontal cortex ‘reads’ oxytocin as a signal to trust and open up. As a result, our conversations become innovative, co-creational and energizing. These conversations are the most likely to result in higher levels of partnering, trust, and innovation.

 


“Those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” -J.F.K.

 

Reaching Level III

How often is it possible for us to reach level III?

Four Letter Words Banned by Leaders

Banned Words in My House

 

When my daughter first learned to speak, I started telling her that there are some words that we don’t use in our house.

And they are not the words you would think, though those are also banned.

They are words that limit.  Words that destroy dreams.

 

Can’t.

There is very little that you “can’t” do.  There are things you won’t do.  There are also things you choose not to do.

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” -Henry Ford

 

Hate.

Be someone full of love and compassion.  Most “hate” is due to lack of understanding or perspective.  Abraham Lincoln once said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” -Abraham Lincoln

 

Suck.

Not too long ago, I was watching a high school tennis match. “I suck!” exclaimed this tennis player after each miss.  How does that help?  Instead, it reinforced negative thoughts.  Guess what?  What you say defines your future.

“What you say defines your future.” -Skip Prichard

 

Lose.

You don’t lose.  You’re not a loser.  Focus on the good plays and what you did well.  It will empower you and ready you for future competitions.

“A loss is a temporary setback on the way to a permanent victory.” -Skip Prichard