Embrace the Chaos

Are you overworked?  Stressed?  Worried about money, health, family, your job?

Instead of running from the chaos, what if the answer was to embrace it?

Bob Miglani is a senior director at a Fortune 50 company in New York City. He came to the US from India in 1979, and grew up running his family’s Dairy Queen business. He is the author of two books: Embrace the Chaos: How India Taught Me to Stop Overthinking and Start Living and Treat Your Customers.

I recently had the opportunity to talk to him about his journey from “overwhelmed” to “embracing the chaos.”

You cannot control the chaos.  You can control you. -Bob Miglani

 

The very first chapter of Embrace the Chaos: How India Taught Me to Stop Overthinking and Start Living starts with a powerful statement:  “You cannot control the chaos.  You can control you.”  A business trip back to India taught you this in a fresh way.  What’s the story of how chaos in India influenced this book?

There was a period of my life where I was stuck.  With so much uncertainty in my job, career, unpredictability of life and the speed of it all made me freeze.  I looked to the future, and every path in front of me looked worse than the other.

9781609948252It was a chance invitation to India that led me to rediscover how to move forward when we’re faced with so much uncertainty.

India is full of uncertainty and unpredictability.  Go to a business meeting, travel on the dilapidated roads or visit a tourist destination and things have a way of going wrong.  It’s easy to find yourself in a place where you have no control and everything seems to be falling apart.

There were a few times that this occurred to me, which I talk about in my book.  It was after these events that I came to this profound realization that so much of our stress and anxiety about the future rests on this perceived notion that we have control over everything.  But the truth is that we don’t.  We can’t control our customers, our bosses or our colleagues.  I have a tough enough time trying to control my kids; so to think that I can possibly control all these other aspects of life is fruitless.

We should stop trying to control those things because that’s what causes us stress and worry about the future. Instead, we should try to control ourselves – our thoughts and our actions. Taking action and moving forward in life gives us that certainty.  That’s what I learned from India, where I met so many others who were working, engaging and living fully.

Bob Miglani

Usually we do everything in our power to create a planned, organized life.  And yet life doesn’t work that way.  Accepting and adapting to circumstances beyond our control is another area you explore in your book.  How do you develop that mindset?

When things don’t go according to plan is often the time when we grow the most because we rediscover the resiliency that we have deep inside of ourselves.  Understanding that for true growth to happen in our business, in our relationships and in our lives, we have to let go of our notion of a perfect plan.  We have to shift our thinking and our own skills rather than direct attention to the problem that might have occurred.

Learning to develop that mindset isn’t easy, but it is possible. One way to cultivate acceptance is to put ourselves in challenging situations, either by setting hard-to-reach goals or taking on tough assignments or projects.  What this does is force us to realize that our actions are what matters, what we did when we faced uncertainty, not that we fought the change but how we adapted to the change.

Would you share one of the stories from your book?  I immediately think about you catching the bus with your cousin, Vivek.  What did that teach you?

I was in India with my cousin Vivek, and I had asked him to take me on a typical bus that he takes to work because I wanted to do what the locals do: take a bus to work.  On my insistence, he agreed.

While we were waiting for the bus, I heard him say, ”OK. Start running.”  I looked over to my right and saw this completely full bus barreling down the dirt road.  Passengers were hanging to the sides of the bus using their fingernails and sometimes parts of the arms inside the window.  The bus driver had no intention of stopping as there was simply no room.  So what people do is to run along and somehow wedge themselves into the huge pile on the bus.

There’s no way I was getting on that bus, I thought.  It was just too full.  There had to be a bus that was less full; so I’d wait for the next one.

3 Leadership Development Tips to Help Bring Out the Leader in You

This is a guest post by Dale Carnegie Training, a company founded on the principles of the famous speaker and author of one of my classic favorites “How to Win Friends and Influence People.” Today, the company offers leadership training to help businesses and individuals achieve their goals.

As the year comes to an end, now is the perfect time for business professionals to reflect on the past year, review what they did well, and determine what skill set areas need improvement. One skill that every businessperson should possess is leadership. Great leadership qualities are a key to success and allow people to be able to take charge of situations to ultimately get the job done. No matter what field you are in, having good leadership skills is critical to your success. Use the following tips and insights from Dale Carnegie Training, one of the leaders in leadership training, to help bring out your inner leader.

 

Act enthusiastic and you will be enthusiastic. –Dale Carnegie

 

Work on Your People Skills

One skill that is often overlooked in the business world is people skills. More than just being social and likeable, people skills allow you to understand how to deal with other people in an efficient and positive manner. This skill can ultimately help leaders win business simply by creating positive experiences for people with whom they interact. People skills are also extremely important in resolving conflict and can help leaders keep team members motivated and engaged at all times. By learning how to interact with others in an effective way, you will be able to better collaborate with your team to ultimately reach company goals.

 

Our thoughts make us what we are. –Dale Carnegie

 

Communication is Key

In order to effectively lead, one must become an expert in communication. The way people communicate can instantly cause a positive or negative reaction, which can greatly affect the outcome of any situation. Leaders should be able to inspire others while also remaining confident and professional.

Good listening skills are also a big part of effective leadership and communication. By listening to those around you, and keeping the lines of communication open, you will have a better understanding of the wants, needs and ideals that are critical to fostering a successful environment.

 

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain-and most do. –Dale Carnegie

 

Invest in Leadership Training

For some, being a leader comes naturally. However, most leaders could greatly benefit from management training programs to help them develop and fine-tune these skills. Look for leadership development learning opportunities. Whether you find a seminar offered through your company, or opt to take an online course on your own, these seminars can be extremely beneficial and can help improve communication and interpersonal skills. Leadership training can provide useful tips, insights and valuable hands-on experience. Even if your company doesn’t offer training opportunities, make it a point to find training opportunities for yourself and be proactive about your leadership.

 

Brad Meltzer’s Success Formula Decoded

Brad Meltzer is a New York Times best-selling author of numerous books including The Inner Circle, The Tenth Justice, and The Book of Fate.  His newest book, The Fifth Assassin will be released January 15th.

9780446553971In addition to his many thrillers, he has also written two non-fiction books and is the author of two critically acclaimed comic books.  He’s the co-creator of the TV show Jack & Bobby.  If you’ve never read his books, you may have seen him on Brad Meltzer Decoded on the History Channel.  And it doesn’t stop there.  He’s also created his own inspirational clothing line.

In this nine-minute video interview, we cover a number of topics:

  • What thriller writer inspired Brad to be a novelist?
  • How did the library influence his career?
  • How his career changed from lawyer to NYT best-selling author.
  • Where does he get his ideas?
  • What US President shared a private letter with Brad that he wrote for the new, incoming President?
  • How long it takes to write one of his thrillers
  • How he overcomes rejection and models resilience
  • How non-fiction writing is different than fiction
  • How his show developed for the History Channel

Five Success Factors

Knowing Brad and all of his many accomplishments, I decided to write down the first five “success factors” that came to my mind.  These may apply to Brad but clearly are important for success no matter what you do.

1.  Total immersion.  If you read the books or watch the shows, you will see it.  He becomes immersed in his work.

Turn Your Car Into Your Personal Success Machine

Image courtesy of istockphoto/alubalish

Many years ago, I heard Zig Ziglar recommend turning your car into a “rolling university.”  He explained that you could listen to motivational seminars, hear great speakers, learn a language, brush up on some sales skills.  Really anything you wanted to learn could be one cassette tape away.

I listened to Zig’s advice.  (I even have boxes of old cassette tapes in the basement.)  Technology has changed, but his advice remains as powerful today as it was then.

My personal habit varies between seminars, news programs, and music.  I like to listen to the news, but if that’s all I do, I often arrive at my destination mentally stressed.  Seminars and speeches give me additional insights and ideas.  If you like audiobooks, what a great opportunity to “read” more books.

 

“If your vehicle is only moving your body, you are missing its full potential.” -Skip Prichard