7 Leadership Lessons from the Political Arguing

Finding the Positive or Are You Sick of It, too?

I’m not sure about you, but it’s hard for me to take much more of the political fights happening throughout my social media world. It’s obvious that we are in unchartered territory here in the United States because I’ve never seen anything quite like it.

 

“A person’s a person, no matter how small.” Dr. Seuss

 

Even a simple comment by one person can erupt into a full-blown fight. Naturally, logic is often missing from these so-called conversations.

I’ve seen many people un-friending and un-following people who don’t wholeheartedly agree with their “right” position.

On the other hand, I’ve seen true leaders emerging in the midst of it all. What do leaders do when an unexpected blast of political winds threatens to overwhelm?

 

“Listen with the intent to understand, not the intent to reply.” –Stephen Covey

 

Leaders Emerge

I’ve seen leaders ask more questions to understand and clarify. Instead of proving someone wrong and the rightness of a position, I watched someone modify language and communication. Or, try this: Start with the positive before you believe the worst about someone. And especially gratifying was when two people agreed to actually talk. Yes, talk—you know, when you are actually sitting down, face-to-face and having a real conversation instead of a social media onslaught. What an idea! Finally, I was particularly pleased when someone took my counsel. My advice was to see if you could argue the other side passionately and factually. That required research and time, but I was told it was an incredibly enlightening process. He didn’t change his mind, but he did reach a common understanding with his friend.

 

“Leaders start with the positive, always believing the best first.” -Skip Prichard

 

I’m taking these simple lessons beyond these arguments to use in my everyday life:

  1. Ask more questions
  2. Clarify positions
  3. Assume positive intent
  4. Reduce emotions by hearing the stories behind the raw emotion
  5. Modify language from extreme positioning
  6. Increase face-to-face conversations
  7. Learn to articulate the other side with passion and facts

 

I can’t say that I’m not frustrated with it all. I still cringe when I see someone post a question as bait ready to hook someone into an argument. At least now I’m hoping for a more positive resolution.

“Respect for ourselves guides our morals, respect for others guides our manners.” -Laurence Sterne

 

The constant negative political talk had me pen a little poem about it all.

Here it is:

5 Tips to Master the Art of Power Listening

Power Tips from Ken Abraham

What does it take to land on the New York Times Bestseller’s list nineteen times, with three books hitting the number one spot?

This is the current record of one of my friends, Ken Abraham.  Not too long ago, I sat down with Ken to ask him about his phenomenal success.  Ken’s specialty is collaborations.  He works with celebrities, politicians, sports heroes and others to tell their stories.  He writes authentically in their voice, not his own.

I have known Ken for some years and will tell you a few things that he would never say, but they are characteristics that fuel his success.

Ken is what I call a “power listener.”

Power listeners:

1. Know that it is all about you.

Too often we listen faintly as we form another question or clever comment in our mind. We wait for the person to breathe so we can get our point in. Learning to listen well, extraordinarily well, has been a long-term goal of mine. I’m not even close to attaining it. Ken is a master.

Despite Ken’s success, he is one of the most humble people I know. That humility seems to work especially well in his work because Ken is more interested in learning about you than in talking about himself.

“Wisdom is the reward you get for a lifetime of listening when you’d have preferred to talk.” –Doug Larson

 

 

2. Are able to communicate what they heard accurately.

Good communication is not about saying something. It’s not about the audience hearing it either. It’s when the listener understands your message and can repeat it back. It’s when that person understands the nuances, the emotion, and the content.

Ken’s ability to do this propels him to the top of the world’s greatest listeners.  His writing skills are amazing, but I believe it starts with his unique listening skills.  He can only capture an accurate and authentic story because of his listening mastery.

“I think part of my gift..is that I love listening.” –Eric Clapton

 

3. Stay in the present.

A good listener is not thinking about tomorrow’s to do list or yesterday’s meeting. A good listener is with you, in the moment, practicing the power of now.

When you speak with Ken, you just know he is right there. He is with you in the moment, listening and learning.

“So don’t ever worry about tomorrow. After all, tomorrow will worry about itself.” -Matt 6:34