Lessons and Quotes from John Green’s The Fault in Our Stars

Powerful Lessons

If you have a teenager in your house, you have heard about The Fault in Our Stars.  Bestselling author John Green’s fifth novel has sold millions of copies, won critical praise, been translated into 47 languages, and the movie adaptation is now in theaters everywhere.  The book and the movie have captivated audiences of all ages.

9780525478812A few years ago, I picked up a manuscript and began reading it (this was before the official release).  I wasn’t too far into the book when I realized its power.  It’s a story about two teenagers, told from sixteen year old Hazel’s point of view.  She is dealing with a cancer diagnosis and meets Gus, another teenager, in a cancer support group.  It explores many powerful life lessons.  No matter how brief our time may be here, we have the ability to live it to its fullest.

I had the opportunity to interview John soon after the book was released.  It was so new that he didn’t want to give away the plot.  In this interview, hear John Green:

  • Explain how he writes authentically from a 16 year old girl’s perspective
  • How he and his brother work to combat “world suck”
  • Whether he has a secret plan on social media (he has millions of devoted followers)
  • Why he once licked a cat
  • And, in one of my favorite answers ever, John did give a true “elevator” speech about the book (must see)

 

Life Lessons

 

I often write about leadership, success, and life lessons.  All of John’s books are filled with quotes on these important life themes.  Here are a few lessons from this book:

Today matters.

Search for love.

No matter how much time we have, we can impact others and the world.

Life is a struggle.

Find your authentic voice.

We all face challenges. Who we become is often based on how we handle what comes our way.

Enjoy the little things.

In a storm, you can handle much more than you think possible.

Wisdom is possible at any age.

 

John Green Quotes

 

Here are a few John Green quotes that will likely have you reflecting from this book and a few of his others:

 

“The marks humans leave are too often scars.” –John Green

 

“What is the point of being alive if you don’t at least try to do something remarkable?” –John Green

 

“We need never be hopeless because we can never be irreparably broken.” –John Green

 

“Pain is like a fabric: The stronger it is, the more it’s worth.” –John Green

 

“You are so busy being you that you have no idea how utterly unprecedented you are.” –John Green

 

“If you don’t imagine, nothing ever happens at all.” –John Green

 

“Books are the ultimate Dumpees: put them down and they’ll wait for you forever; pay attention to them and they always love you back.” –John Green

 

“Books are so special and rare and yours that advertising your affection feels like a betrayal.” –John Green

 

“Youth is counted sweetest by those who are no longer young.” –John Green

 

“We are greater than the sum of our parts.” –John Green

Jon Gordon Shares The Greatest Success Strategies of All

 

When I pick up one of Jon Gordon’s books, I have high expectations.  I expect to be entertained, moved, and motivated to think differently and take action.  That’s not an easy accomplishment for any book.

 

“Your optimism today will determine your level of success tomorrow.” –Jon Gordon


His latest book, The Carpenter: A Story About the Greatest Success Strategies of All, exceeded my already high expectations.  Jon once again narrates a story in such a way that it:

  • Reminds me of timeless principles
  • Zeroes in on something I need to work on
  • Inspires me to become a better leader

I recently had the opportunity to ask Jon a few questions about his work.

 

“Negative thoughts are the nails that build a prison of failure.” –Jon Gordon

 

The 3 Greatest Success Strategies

 

Jon,The Carpenter’s subtitle is A Story About the Greatest Success Strategies of All.  Let’s talk about a few of these strategies.

The 3 greatest of them all are:The Carpenter by Jon Gordon

1. Love

2. Serve

3. Care

I go into more detail in the book of why they are so powerful, but after studying the most successful people and organizations, I found they truly loved the work they did, and they did everything with love instead of fear.  The love they had for their product, people and passion was greater than their fear of failing.  They loved their work so much that they overcome their challenges to build something great.  They loved their people, so they invested in them and helped them achieve great results.  They also cared about everyone and everything.  They put in a little more time with a little more energy with a little more effort with a little more focus, and this produced big results.  They also served and sacrificed.

Only through service and sacrifice can you become great. When you serve others, you become great in their eyes.  We know when someone is out for themselves and when they are here to serve others. You can’t be a great leader if all you are serving is yourself.

 

“Only through service and sacrifice can you become great.” –Jon Gordon

 

The Importance of Rest

You talk about the importance of rest.  Most of us are so busy achieving, setting goals, and driving that we have learned to smile and nod in response to hearing “get some more rest.”  My subconscious often responds with, “I will rest when I’m dead.”  Why is rest so important?  What made you decide to start with it as a success strategy? 

I’ve noticed that the enemies of great leadership, teamwork, relationships and customer service are busyness and stress.  Our lives have become so crazy that we are continually activating the reptilian part of our brain and the fight-flight response.  So without knowing it, we are living and working from a place of fear where we are just trying to survive instead of thrive.

When we rest and recharge, we can think more clearly and live and work more powerfully.  For example, instead of running people over because you are so busy, you can take time to build relationships with your team and customers and create more success in the long term.  Instead of just trying to get through the day, you can live and work more intentionally thinking about who needs your time and energy to develop and grow.  Instead of rushing through conversations with customers, you can take more time to listen and solve their problems.  Every great athlete must rest and recharge and so must we to perform at our highest level.

Bestselling Author Jon Gordon

 

“Anyone who attempts to build great things will face challenges.” –Jon Gordon

 

How Gratitude and Love Make The Difference

5 Principles of Ultimate Influence

All of us must learn to influence others. Whether persuading your child to eat broccoli or supervising a team, the ability to influence is important to working with others.

In those situations, do you see the other person as an adversary? Do you resort to manipulation or coercion to try to get what you want?  Or do you understand how to influence and win that person over?

The World’s Greatest Influencers

The greatest influencers are not manipulators. They aren’t pushy. They don’t create animosity. Instead, they seem to win people naturally, effortlessly, making everyone happy with the outcome.

How they do it is the subject of this post.

 

BobBurg

Bob Burg is a speaker, a blogger, and a best selling author. He’s perhaps best known from his many stage appearances as a speaker for large organizations.  You may also know him by his runaway best selling book, The Go-Giver.  I have read all of his books and learned from all of his work.

His latest book is Adversaries into Allies: Win People Over Without Manipulation or Coercion.  It’s one of those books that you cannot stop reading.  I have dog-eared and underlined so much of the book that he likely wouldn’t recognize it if he saw my copy.

There are so many lessons in this book, which reads like a modern day version of Dale Carnegie’s How to Win Friends and Influence People.  Reading it, I realized that there are dozens of questions to ask Bob.  I chose to focus on the five principles of ultimate influence shared throughout the book.

 

Sometimes the most influential thing we can do is listen. –Bob Burg

 1. Control your own emotions

Bob, I want to ask you a question about each of your five principles to influence and move people to a different thought or action.

The first is to control your own emotions.  Why is controlling your emotions the very first step and why is it harder for some people than others?

Skip, as human beings we are emotional creatures. Sure, in certain ways we are logical, but we are basically driven by our emotions. That’s often very counterproductive. The problem isn’t that we have emotions (emotions are a wonderful part of life), it’s being “controlled by our emotions.” When this is the case we are simply not in a position to think clearly, to think logically and be able to take a negative situation or person and elicit a positive outcome. When we are in control of ourselves and of our emotions, the opposite is true.

For example: If a person says or does something you find offensive, it’s important that you be in control of your emotions and – as Zig Ziglar taught – “respond” rather than “react.” When you react, you are allowing that person (and your emotions) to control you; when you respond, you are in control of yourself and your emotions and are now ready to create an environment for a winning result for everyone involved.

bob-burg-scentsy

2. Understand the clash of belief systems

 

Your second principle is to understand the clash of belief systems.  This one may not be as intuitive so please tell me more about it.

A belief is a subjective truth. It’s the truth as we understand the truth to be. But that doesn’t mean it’s “the truth” (though we are usually certain it is). While our belief systems are a combination of upbringing, environment, schooling, news media, television shows, movies, popular culture, societal mores, etc., it is pretty much formed by the time we’re six or seven years old. Some of these beliefs work for us, are productive and helpful, and keep us safe. Most are counterproductive and serve no constructive purpose.

 

Tact is the language of strength. –Mike Burg

 

So, we are pretty much controlled by a belief system we are not even aware we possess. Add on top of that, the person with whom we’re about to have a difficult interpersonal transaction is also controlled by a belief system that they are not even aware they possess. Now add to the mix that as human beings we tend to believe that others think as we think, and you’ve got the makings of a huge clash of belief systems.

We don’t need to understand their belief system; what we do need to understand is that their belief system is most likely much different from ours. Only when we consciously understand that are we in a position to proceed in a way that a mutually beneficial result can occur.

3. Acknowledge their ego

The third principle is to acknowledge their ego.  You say that the “ego is the ultimate driving force in everything people do.”  Give me an example of how to acknowledge ego in a legitimate way with sincerity.

Note to Managers: Stop Making Decisions

Photo courtesy of istockphoto/peskymonkey

This is a guest post by Dennis Bakke. Dennis is the CEO of Imagine Schools and the author of The Decision Maker: Unlock the Potential of Everyone in Your Organization, One Decision at a Time (Pear Press)..

The conventional wisdom on leadership: Get advice from others but make the final decision. But in today’s shifting global marketplace, it’s out of date. More and more, success in business isn’t about producing the proverbial widget, but unlocking human potential. Success isn’t about rigid systems that guide our people as they churn out product. It’s about how we release our people to innovate, at every stage of the game.

As a young leader, I followed the conventional wisdom. I might ask a couple of people for some input before I made a decision. But I made the final call, always.

Success is about how we release people to innovate, at every stage of the game. -Dennis Bakke

It didn’t take me long to realize that the more decisions I made, the less engaged others became.  They didn’t have any control over the process or the results. So they didn’t feel any ownership in them either.

The problem was me. To be a good leader, I had to let go.

The reality is that it is the boss who is often the last to know. So when bosses, department leaders or team leaders make all the decisions, they’re often operating with stale or second-hand information, some of which has been edited or sanitized on its way to “the boss.”