Develop the Resilience You Need to Succeed

Getting Stronger

What happens when you get a stress management expert, a successful entrepreneur, and a Navy SEAL together to write a book? You end up with Stronger: Develop the Resilience You Need to Succeed, a powerful new resource that will help you better thrive under pressure. The three authors have such varied experience that, when combined, works magnificently. The result is a powerful book that will help you not only understand resilience but learn how to build it for yourself.

Two of the authors, George Everly and Dennis McCormack, collaborated to answer some of my questions and to give you a glimpse into the power of resilience. Dr. Everly is one of the founding fathers of modern stress management. He teaches at Johns Hopkins and Loyola University of Maryland. Dennis McCormack is one of the original Navy SEALS. He pioneered SEAL combat doctrine and tactics in Vietnam.

 

“Resilience is the ability to personally rebound from adversity.”

 

The Single Most Powerful Factor to Your Potential 

You call personal resilience the single most powerful factor to realize your potential. Is resilience something you are born with or can develop?

While for some, resilience may be a trait they are born with, for most of us resilience is learned…and that’s the great news! Recent research suggests that it is NOT age dependent either. So we can learn to be resilient at ANY age.

 

“Optimism is more than a belief, it’s a mandate for change.”

 

5 Factors of Personal Resilience

You reference 5 factors of personal resilience. The first is active optimism. What’s the difference between active and passive optimism? How do you increase it?

Great question. People who are passively optimistic believe things will turn out well, but they wait for such things to occur. Actively optimistic people believe things will turn out well because they are decisive and action-oriented. In short, they MAKE things turn out well. They take advantage of the self-fulfilling prophecy effect. When they fail, they see that failure as a temporary setback. Regarding the issue of leadership, whom would you rather follow, someone who waits for good things to happen, or someone who makes good things happen?

As for increasing active optimism, both in yourself and others, follow this principle: Active optimism is fostered in an environment which is supportive, instructive, and forgiving; one that sees failure as a stepping stone to success.

Avoid toxic devaluing environments. When failure does occur, and it will, understand failure is what you did, not who you are. Learn from it. You will be stronger next time!

 

“The optimist always has the capacity to look forward to another day.”

 

5 Core Factors of Personal Resilience

  1. Help people withstand adversity.
  2. Help people make good decisions under pressure.
  3. Motivate people to achieve peak performance.
  4. Allow people to bounce back quickly and effectively even when they are temporarily knocked down.
  5. Serve as important features in determining satisfaction in life and overall happiness.

 

3 Steps to Manage Impulsive Urges 

Are Your Performance Reviews Productive or Destructive?

Whether you are giving a performance review or receiving one, I bet you don’t enjoy the process.  I previously shared the 9 Traits of Effective Employee Feedback.  The review should support an ongoing conversation between the employee and the manager.

If you want a conversation starter for your review, bring this infographic in to your manager.  You will likely both be nodding as you read it.

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Four Letter Words Banned by Leaders

Banned Words in My House

 

When my daughter first learned to speak, I started telling her that there are some words that we don’t use in our house.

And they are not the words you would think, though those are also banned.

They are words that limit.  Words that destroy dreams.

 

Can’t.

There is very little that you “can’t” do.  There are things you won’t do.  There are also things you choose not to do.

“Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right.” -Henry Ford

 

Hate.

Be someone full of love and compassion.  Most “hate” is due to lack of understanding or perspective.  Abraham Lincoln once said, “I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.” -Abraham Lincoln

 

Suck.

Not too long ago, I was watching a high school tennis match. “I suck!” exclaimed this tennis player after each miss.  How does that help?  Instead, it reinforced negative thoughts.  Guess what?  What you say defines your future.

“What you say defines your future.” -Skip Prichard

 

Lose.

You don’t lose.  You’re not a loser.  Focus on the good plays and what you did well.  It will empower you and ready you for future competitions.

“A loss is a temporary setback on the way to a permanent victory.” -Skip Prichard