7 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

 

Stand Out with Self-Confidence

Dr. Ivan Joseph is the Athletic Director and head soccer coach at Ryerson University. When parents approach him, they often share attributes about their child to impress him. Dr. Joseph is looking for a specific skill above all others. That skill is self-confidence. Most of us think this is a trait, something you’re born with. This coach believes it is a skill and can be developed.

 

“No one will believe in you, unless you do.” –Dr. Ivan Joseph

 

7 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Self-confidence can be built when you consistently:

  1. Do not accept failure.
  2. Practice. Practice.
  3. Do not accept no.
  4. Master your self-talk.
  5. Remove people who tear you down.
  6. Write a self-confidence letter to yourself about your accomplishments.
  7. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day.

He notes that self-confident people interpret feedback the way they want to because, “No one will believe in you unless you do.”

So many of us think that, when we hit a certain age, we can ignore the skill of self-confidence. What I have seen is that it’s a vitally important skill that can be developed at any stage of your career. No one wants arrogance, but we are all attracted to confidence.

 

“Get away from the people who tear you down.” –Dr. Ivan Joseph

 

Are you feeling unworthy? Is your internal voice speaking fear and doubt? Are voices from the past telling you that you can’t do it?

Then try Dr. Joseph’s steps above and increase your self-confidence this week.

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“Put yourself in a situation where you say, I’ve done this a thousand times.” –Dr. Ivan Joseph

 

“Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown.” –Unknown

 

“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” –Blake Lively

 

“What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?” –Eleanor Roosevelt

 

“If you do not believe you can do it then you have no chance at all.” –Arsene Wenger

 

Confidence: More Compelling Than Competence

This is a guest post by Derek Lewis, “America’s #1 Ghostwriter for Business Experts.” Learn more about writing business books at www.dereklewis.com.

The Secret to Performance

That’s the secret to performance: conviction. The right note played tentatively still misses its mark, but play boldly and no one will question you. – Rachel Hartman, Seraphina

Dan never failed to astonish me.

If he had a class project due at 8:00 a.m. but had yet to start it, he would say, “Oh, I’ll just go talk to the professor. He’ll understand.”

There was no hesitation in his voice. He never wavered in his absolute belief that he would be granted an extension. And without exception, he always was.

Sometimes he probably deserved an extension. Mostly, he didn’t. But he could charm, cajole, and coerce every professor he ever needed to.

My coworker Craig had the same talent. He could enter a conversation with people vehemently opposed to his political views, but by the end of the discussion they would usually be nodding their heads as they reconsidered their stance. More than once, I heard, “I don’t know why, but if you ran for office, I’d vote for you.”

 

That’s the secret to performance: conviction. -Rachel Hartman

 

I have stood on the sidelines and watched these maestros conduct their magic. Occasionally, they would have to poke me to make me hide my astonishment, lest I let the cat out of the bag. You could say they were masters of manipulation, and that would be true in some instances. But most of the time, my two charismatic friends simply persuaded and influenced their listeners.

It helped if they knew what they were talking about, but I’ve seen them plunge into situations for which they had no preparation and come out with the upper hand. The strength of their magic did not come from their competence of the subject matter—it came from their conviction that, whatever the issue, they were right.

Confidence Trumps Competence

I am fascinated with people like Dan and Craig because their approach is so alien to me.

By my nature, I focus on facts and reason. My instinctive approach to selling, communication, and influencing used to be to present the facts in logical order, and then allow the other person to draw their own conclusions. From one point of view, I sold competence.

While that may seem an ethical and transparent approach to business, it made for a lousy living.

Competence matters. Sincerity and honesty matter. Ethics are a cornerstone of long-term success. These things are important. But when it comes to working, selling, and communicating—that is, compelling other people to act—competence and such have never been enough to bring real success.

My mistake was in leaving out the key ingredient that came so naturally to my cohorts: confidence.

 

Competence without confidence just doesn’t cut it. –Derek Lewis

 

Sadly, I remember the time I cost Craig (and our company) a major client. If we had landed them, the client would have been our biggest by far. The recurring revenue from the contract would lift our company from being a marginal player to an “up and coming” enterprise.

Craig’s discussions with the client had gone well. By the end of the big meeting, the client showed all the signs of having made their choice. Things seemed sure.

The next week, I was sent in to do a follow-up meeting—really, a meet-and-greet with the head honchos. I was nervous about taking on the client, though. It would mean hiring more people, learning some new tools, and significantly changing how we operated.

But the truth was that the client intimidated me.