Does Your Body Language Signal Confidence or Weakness?

Ever experience social anxiety or been nervous about an upcoming meeting or job interview? Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy has outlined some simple practices that can help anyone in stressful situations.

Her research indicates that body language can signal power or weakness:

 

“Don’t fake it ‘til you make it; fake it ‘til you become it.” -Amy Cuddy

 

Body Language that Signals Weakness and Negativity:

  • Slumping
  • Making yourself small
  • Touching your face or neck
  • Folding your arms

 

Body Language that Signals Confidence and Positivity:

  • Standing up tall
  • Making eye contact
  • Smiling

So we know body language can definitely affect the way others perceive us, but can it affect the way we perceive ourselves?


“Do our nonverbals govern the way we think and feel about ourselves?”

According to Cuddy’s research, the answer is a resounding yes.

Try it.

Force yourself to smile for five minutes straight and you will begin to feel happy.

Our bodies can change our minds. There are definite physiological differences depending on your body pose. In one study, Curry had a group of people adopt low power poses and the other group high power poses.

 


Research: Powerful body language can cause hormonal changes in the body.

 

Boost Your Own Confidence

Afterwards, their saliva was tested and the people with the high power poses had testosterone increase by 20% versus a decrease in testosterone by 10% in the other group. Actual hormonal changes take place in the body.

The group that practiced the positive body pose were much more passionate, authentic and captivating as compared to the negative group. But here’s the kicker, it wasn’t that these individuals were putting on false airs, they were simply comfortable enough to be themselves.

 


“Our bodies change our minds.” -Amy Cuddy

 

Strike a Confident Pose

How to Navigate the Maze of Health and Nutrition Plans

Develop Your Personalized Health Plan

 

69% of adults and 33% of children struggle with their weight.

An estimated 50% of adults have pre-diabetes or diabetes.

Health care is an increasing financial burden for many people and businesses.

And every leader wants to be more effective, have more energy, sleep better, and make a bigger impact.

David Nico, PhD, affectionately known as Dr. Healthnut, wants to inspire all of us to live healthier. His new book, Diet Diagnosis: Navigating the Maze of Health and Nutrition Plans is a recipe for health. In his book, he patiently walks through all of the various confusing diet plans, explaining them in an easy to understand way that will help you make the decisions that are right for you.

I recently had the opportunity to talk with him about his research.

 

“Health is not valued until sickness comes.” –Thomas Fuller

 

Decoding the Diet Myths

There is so much conflicting news about health and diet. Your new book indicates each person is unique and needs a different plan. How do you know what is right for you?

Diet DiagnosisYear after year I walk into bookstores and see the same methodology in terms of diet and health book approaches to the lifestyle disease epidemic. It goes something like this, “Here’s my diet plan. Do my plan. It will work for you. I have testimonials to prove it.” Our society focuses on scales and pounds and we look for quick fixes. This only lasts for a short time in most cases. Once you finish the diet, you can just go back to your former lifestyle or take a magic pill.

The myth in diet and nutrition and the health industry is that one specific diet plan will work for everyone instead of a personalized approach for each individual based on their interests, preferences, situation, and lifestyles.

I go opposite of every other prescriptive diet and health book and encourage a lifetime personalized lifestyle approach which is much easier on the mind and healthier for the metabolism! Everyone needs a blueprint that works individually for their unique lifestyle. I show how to create an action plan, to listen to your body, add the right foods, and avoid problem foods or ingredients. Instead of giving you the fish, I teach you how to fish, so you will fish for life.

 

69% of adults and 33% of children struggle with their weight.

 

Weight gain. Our whole society is struggling more than ever before. Why? 

Weight gain is NOT the problem! We need to change how we THINK about our food and lifestyle behaviors. The truth is, we are gaining the wrong type of weight (fat). For example, an athlete may gain muscle weight but is fit with less inches compared to a dieter who weighs less but is unhealthy. Muscle weighs more than fat. Ultimately, we want to feel great and look great, and my self-leadership approach with coaching methodology shows how to think about food correctly which results in a lifetime lifestyle transformation.

 

“Everyone needs a blueprint that works individually for their unique lifestyle.” -David Nico

 

Eliminate these 3 Ingredients Now

Close the 3 Life Gaps Causing Stress and Dissatisfaction

3 Life Gaps

 

Hyrum W. Smith is the co-founder and former CEO of Franklin Covey. His latest book The 3 Gaps: Are You Making a Difference?, shows how to lead a fulfilling life by closing these gaps. The book is filled with stories of people who overcome challenges to live a life of purpose.

 

“Governing values are simply a description of one’s highest priorities.” -Hyrum Smith

 

I recently asked him about his latest work on achieving a meaningful and impactful life, a life in balance.

 

3 Life Gaps

The Beliefs Gap. The gap between the behaviors that meet our needs and those that do not.

The Values Gap. The gap between what we value and where we actually spend our time.

The Time Gap. The gap between what we plan to do and what we actually do.

 

You share four steps for monitoring and changing your beliefs. Is there one that most people struggle with?

Typically, the hardest thing for any of us to do is to admit that “the only problem in my life is me.” This is why the very first step is to admit that the problem lies with us. It is perhaps a sign of our times that we tend to externalize more today than ever before. We don’t look first to ourselves but tend to blame circumstances or the actions of others for our challenges. Getting past that first hurdle is the key to closing this gap.

 

“Any belief that drives behavior that does not meet your basic needs over time is an incorrect belief.” -Hyrum Smith

 

How and why do people often get off track with their stated values? 

One of the ways we miss the mark is by failing to realize the importance of identifying our key values. Life is filled with “have to do” events and “someone expects me to do” events and “once in a while I’d like to do something for myself” events. It takes a concerted effort to identify the values that should be our highest priorities and then to compare our activities to those values. We get off track because we don’t focus on these values. We assume that they will take care of themselves. They usually don’t.

 

“The only thing you have 100% control over is you.” -Hyrum Smith

 

Make the Magic 15 Minutes Work for You

How to Deal With Irrational and Impossible People

You’re CRAZY!

Have a manipulating boss driving you nuts?

Is a co-worker bullying you?

Do you have someone irrational or deceitful in your life?

You’ve tried explaining, tried rationalizing, tried…everything…and still, you get nowhere.

 

What do you do when you are talking to CRAZY?

 

“To reach irrational people, you need to know why they’re irrational.” –Mark Goulston

 

Enter acclaimed psychiatrist Mark Goulston with the answers. Mark’s new book Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People In Your Life is a guidebook to dealing with the impossible people that cross your path. His suggestions can be put to work immediately. I know because I did. And they work.

Recently, I asked Dr. Goulston about his exceptional new book and his practical observations and suggestions in dealing with difficult people.

 

“Life is beautiful but people are crazy.” –Charles Osgood

 

We Are All A Little Nuts

When a psychiatrist says “We’re all at least a little nuts,” it gets my attention. How are we all a bit crazy? What’s the best way for us to identify our major issues and weaknesses?TalkingToCrazy

We’re all a bit crazy because we all engage at times in non-rational, non-functional self-preservation (a.k.a. our identity).  That means that when the reality of what we are dealing with changes, we will often continue to “do the same things over and over, expecting different results.” The reason for that is because in an increasingly specialized world, the areas in which we feel competent, confident and in control are increasingly narrow. That translates into trying to stay inside those areas rather than adapting to the new situation facing us. By the way, I don’t see “crazy” people as mentally ill.  I have great compassion for and spent 30+ years treating people with significant mental illness, because they truly cannot stop acting the way they do until that mental illness – depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, ADHD, schizophrenia, etc. – is treated.  To me crazy people are people who can control their behavior, but choose not to.  In essence they abuse or take advantage of their relationships. They drive us crazy vs. being truly mentally ill.

 

“Being crazy isn’t enough.” –Dr. Seuss

 

I was incredibly moved by Mr. Harding’s story during your residency. What did this teach you?

It taught me not to jump to conclusions or be overly influenced by others before I gather all the information I can from the other person. That means patiently taking the time to truly understand and go to “their there” before I try to fit them into “my here.”

 

“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” –
Alfred Adler

 

Lean Into Crazy

The Genius of Opposites: Extroverts and Introverts

How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together

 

  • “I don’t understand extroverts. She is so out there.”
  • “I don’t know what he is thinking. What is bothering him?”
  • “How do I break through to her?”
  • “Was that a conclusion or is he thinking out loud?”

 

As an extrovert married to an introvert, I have long been interested in what makes an effective partnership between very different people.  I’ve learned that I’m far from alone and that many successful duos are two people with different styles and approaches. Whether a married couple or a business partnership, it is possible to adapt and develop a winning partnership. Learning to leverage each other’s strengths and capitalize on your differences can improve your results.

Author and speaker Jennifer B. Kahnweiler, PhD is known as the “champion for introverts.” I recently talked with her about her research and her new book, The Genius of Opposites: How Introverts and Extroverts Achieve Extraordinary Results Together.  She has developed a system designed to help opposites stop emphasizing the differences and instead drive toward results.

 

“Relationships are most successful when opposites stop focusing on differences.” -Dr Kahnweiler

 

Famous Opposites

Would you share a few examples of famous opposites?

Sure, there are many. The Wright Brothers, Venus and Serena Williams, Mick Jagger and Keith Richards, Mark Zuckerberg and Sheryl Sandberg, Penn and Teller, Siskel and Ebert, Teddy Roosevelt and William Howard Taft, Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak.

 

Sticking Points

What most bothers introverts about extroverts and vice versa?

There are a lot of disconnects on both sides. Introverts think extroverts are changing their minds and don’t have clear thinking when they toss out ideas. But they are just releasing their energy, and they get charged up that way. They are just downloading ideas.

Introverts also wonder why extroverts need so much going on. They think extroverts don’t have enough self-discipline to just be there and get work done. Introverts judge that a lot. But extroverts like more stimulation, and the juggling makes them energized and engaged. They get their work done, just in spurts.Jennifer Kahnweiler headshot

Other misfirings in their wiring? Being private (introverts) vs. being an open book (extroverts) causes challenges. Introverts want to get to know you slowly and warm up to you. Extroverts feel excluded when introverts don’t share and get tired of pulling answers out of introverts who don’t offer much info during conversations.

Introverts crave quiet time for recharging, creativity and decompression and are frustrated when extroverts don’t let them have it. Like a teenage boy, my introverted husband Bill keeps a sign on the door that says, “Do Not Disturb.” He means it, too!

 

A Model for Bringing Us Together

Opposites can form a strong partnership if they follow your ABCDE model. How did you develop this approach? Is one part more difficult for an extrovert or introvert?

I interviewed over 40 sets of opposite partners and key themes emerged. I asked them to explore the successes and struggles they had in working with their opposite partner. Because they spoke with me or wrote me separately, some unique perspectives emerged. I also read about figures from sports, entertainment and science. I learned that the success factors crossed over fields and roles.

I think the challenges we face in opposite pairings are equally difficult for introverts and extroverts. And if we are honest about it, we each drive each other crazy from time to time!

Extraordinary Results

“Genius opposites do not just ‘happen’.” -Jennifer Kahnweiler

 

How Opposites React to Stress

How do opposites react to major stress?