The Power of Aloneness: Quotes on Solitude

The Power of Solitude

 

How often do you find yourself alone?

Do you regularly make time to get away by yourself?

As your life gets busier, how often do you just spend time with you?

 

Most of us don’t think we have the time for this. We rush to work. We rush to the store, to pick up the kids, to the gym, running errands like a hamster on a wheel.

Want to try an experiment? I love to watch this event, which plays out in every restaurant I have seen. A couple is eating dinner. One person will get up. See how long the remaining person waits before fishing out the cell phone and playing around on it. Likely, it will not be long.  It seems we are that uncomfortable with being alone, even in a crowded restaurant.

What would happen if we made alone time a priority?

Jesus did it. He would regularly remove himself from the crowds to be alone and meditate.

Thoreau did it. His book Walden is a classic, filled with the wisdom of his time alone in the woods.

But today? Take the time to be alone?

 

Studies show taking time out for you increases memory, creativity, and mood.

 

Take Time to Reflect

Leaders who take the necessary reflective time find meaning and intention in their work, increasing their effectiveness.

Studies have shown that taking alone time:

  • Increases empathy
  • Creates more accurate memories
  • Helps teenagers improve both moods and grades
  • Boosts creativity
  • Allows for deeper, strategic thinking
  • Improves your relationships

Does Your Body Language Signal Confidence or Weakness?

Ever experience social anxiety or been nervous about an upcoming meeting or job interview? Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy has outlined some simple practices that can help anyone in stressful situations.

Her research indicates that body language can signal power or weakness:

 

“Don’t fake it ‘til you make it; fake it ‘til you become it.” -Amy Cuddy

 

Body Language that Signals Weakness and Negativity:

  • Slumping
  • Making yourself small
  • Touching your face or neck
  • Folding your arms

 

Body Language that Signals Confidence and Positivity:

  • Standing up tall
  • Making eye contact
  • Smiling

So we know body language can definitely affect the way others perceive us, but can it affect the way we perceive ourselves?


“Do our nonverbals govern the way we think and feel about ourselves?”

According to Cuddy’s research, the answer is a resounding yes.

Try it.

Force yourself to smile for five minutes straight and you will begin to feel happy.

Our bodies can change our minds. There are definite physiological differences depending on your body pose. In one study, Curry had a group of people adopt low power poses and the other group high power poses.

 


Research: Powerful body language can cause hormonal changes in the body.

 

Boost Your Own Confidence

Afterwards, their saliva was tested and the people with the high power poses had testosterone increase by 20% versus a decrease in testosterone by 10% in the other group. Actual hormonal changes take place in the body.

The group that practiced the positive body pose were much more passionate, authentic and captivating as compared to the negative group. But here’s the kicker, it wasn’t that these individuals were putting on false airs, they were simply comfortable enough to be themselves.

 


“Our bodies change our minds.” -Amy Cuddy

 

Strike a Confident Pose

Don’t Let Leadership Go to Your Head

This is a guest post by Jason Cooper. Jason is a communications professional at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln. In addition to leading a multi-media communications unit at the university, he helps leaders improve their communications. You can also follow him on Twitter.

Stay Grounded

Leaders are usually in leadership positions because they have proven themselves in some capacity. They may have had the best technical skills, or the boldest and best ideas, or maybe they found themselves in a leadership position because they knew how to work with and motivate a team of people to accomplish far more than they could alone.

As leaders rise, however, there is a tendency to let it go to their heads. The faster a leader rises, the more likely this is to happen. Pride begins to set in, and pride is the gateway drug to arrogance.

 

“Pride is the gateway drug to arrogance.” -Jason Cooper

 

Leadership, Skill and Value

Leaders must strive to never confuse their skills with their value. I may be “better at” something, but that doesn’t mean I am “better than” someone. People matter! They may have a different skill set or serve in a different capacity, but they matter.

Lousy leaders are ‘better’ at everything. Arrogant talent is a barrier to the growth of others. Humility opens doors for others.” ~ Dan Rockwell

 

“Humility opens doors for others.” -Dan Rockwell

 

Leaders who alienate people by their arrogance rarely last. But leaders who value people and elevate others create long lasting impact. Research continually reinforces that the ability to engage with people is a key indicator for success and employee performance.

 

Arrogance and Humility

No one sets out to become arrogant. We can each think of someone who we have known who over time has grown to be full of themselves. If arrogance is in fact something that can develop over time, then it also stands to reason that there are things we can do to avoid it happening to us. But it can be tricky. One can simply go through the motions in order to wear their humility like a shiny badge of honor.

A professor of mine in college would, after leading the class in sharing positive feedback regarding our in-class presentations, transition to sharing criticism with the phrase, “Lest a man [or woman] think more highly of himself than he ought…” In his honor, here are a few suggestions on how to cultivate humility.

 

“Leaders who alienate people by their arrogance rarely last.” -Jason Cooper

 

 

7 Practical Ways to Cultivate Humility

 

1. Have lunch with the janitor.

Seek out those who by the world’s standards are near the bottom. Get to know them. Ask them questions. Treat them as equals (because ultimately they are). You’ll find that you are not so different from them.

 

2. Intentionally share the credit with your team even when they aren’t around.

25 Quotes to Build a Winning Team

You Win in the Locker Room First

A few months ago, I read Jon Gordon and Mike Smith’s book, You Win in the Locker Room First: The 7 C’s to Build a Winning Team in Business, Sports, and Life.

9781119157854The former NFL head coach of the Atlanta Falcons, Mike Smith, teamed up with one of my favorite authors, Jon Gordon, to explore seven principles that teams use to reinvigorate and reinvent their future.

I’m not sure how you read, but the more I like a book, the more underlines, highlights, and dog-eared pages appear. Long ago, I developed the habit of doing this because I want the wisdom of the authors to penetrate my thick skull and make an impact. When I read this book, there were so many quotes that stuck with me.

So, instead of an author interview, I wanted to share the top 25 Quotes from this book on team building that stuck with me. I hope you find them helpful as you build a great team of your own. Because, as the title of this book reminds us, winning starts long before you actually take the field.

 

25 Quotes to Build a Winning Team

“Culture is defined and created from the top down, but it comes to life from the bottom up.” –Mike Smith

 

“Culture drives expectations and beliefs. Expectations and beliefs drive behaviors. Behaviors drive habits and habits create the future.” –Jon Gordon

 

“Winning doesn’t begin just in the locker room; it also begins in the mind.” –Jon Gordon

 

“You win in the mind first and then you win on the field or court.” –Jon Gordon

 

“Leadership is a transfer of belief.” –Jon Gordon

 

“The leaders of the team or organization set the tone and attitude.” –Mike Smith

 

“What we think matters. Our words are powerful.” –Mike Smith

 

“If you are complaining, you are not leading. If you are leading, you are not complaining.” –Mike Smith

 

“Great leaders are positively contagious.” –Mike Smith

 

“The character you possess during the drought is what your team will remember during the harvest.” –Mike Smith

 

“To build a winning team, you want to be consistent in your attitude, effort, and actions.” –Jon Gordon

Why It Is a Big Thing To Take Action On Small Things

This is a guest post by friend and mentor Bruce Rhoades, who retired after having run several companies. He often helps me with strategy. I am delighted that he is a regular contributor.

 

Take Action On The Small Things

Culture is established by both communication and action. People will listen to what you say, but they will closely watch and emulate what you do. Action on large, highly visible initiatives will certainly make priorities and culture clear in a big way. However, it takes time to formulate and communicate large initiatives, plus it often takes time for the results to be achieved and visible. Action on small initiatives while larger actions are in progress can be very effective.

 

“Culture is established by communication and action.” -Bruce Rhoades

 

Good leaders interact with the organization at all levels and with cross-functional teams. Many times during these interactions, opportunities to take action on smaller issues will present themselves. These small opportunities are issues, changes, or decisions that can be addressed by a few of those directly involved without much involvement from the leader. They can solve small customer irritations, eliminate frustrations and inefficiencies in a process or a department, drive a decision or make a localized change. I am a big proponent of taking proper action on selected small opportunities. One of my favorite sayings is, “Never underestimate the effect of taking action on small things.”

Here is why:

 

“Never underestimate the effect of taking action on small things.”

 

10 Major Benefits of Taking Action On Small Things

  • Accelerates Empowerment and Learning: Action on small issues will build organizational confidence, get quick results and allow people to learn from mistakes that have smaller consequences and reduced visibility. It helps people cultivate their leadership.
  • Teaches Delegation: When done correctly, implementing action on small changes teaches others how to delegate, how to decide who needs to be involved in developing action and approval, how to form a collaborative team and how to involve and grow others.
  • Improves Accountability and Decisiveness: When a small team is empowered to take action on smaller decisions, they become more comfortable with accountability and find it easier to make decisions. Using smaller initiatives also provides decision-making experience for more people at many levels in the organization.
  • Boosts Career Satisfaction: Since many small actions are localized to specific processes or departments, they can help remove daily irritations that hinder department or operational processes. At the same time, people learn that they can assume more responsibility and make a difference for the organization.
  • Enhances Collaboration and Team Building: With more small actions, a larger number of people are able to participate in collaborative problem solving and work together with a variety of defined roles to implement change. The benefit is that more people in the organization can gain experience, grow and achieve results.

 

“Taking action on small things rapidly creates an empowered workplace.” -Bruce Rhoades

 

  • Improves Communication: When a leader is able to initiate many small actions at different levels of the organization, or with various teams, it helps to “flatten” the organization, cut through bureaucracy and allow a larger population to see the leader in action. People become more comfortable communicating with the leader and each other. Additionally, small initiatives to implement change can get more people communicating who normally would not do so.