What’s Your TACT-ometer Reading?

This is a guest post by Judy Nelson. Coach Judy Nelson has golfed with presidents, been heckled by famous comedians, and researched insurance policies for riding elephants on behalf of Zsa Zsa Gábor—and those were the ordinary days! Her new book, Intentional Leadership debuts in January.

“Tact is an ability to live in the midst of ugliness without getting ugly.” –Debasish Mridha

 

What’s Your TACT-ometer Reading?

A tachometer in a car measures the rotation of the crankshaft. A TACT-ometer in a leader measures the rotation of the crankiness or degree of rudeness they reveal and inspire in others. Leaders everywhere would be wise to make sure their TACT-ometer is functioning well—or take it in for a tune-up.

In a manual transmission, the tachometer serves a significant role for the vehicle’s engine maintenance. It helps the driver select an appropriate gear for driving conditions. It denotes the maximum safe range for rotation speeds, which when exceeded are indicated in red. When a driver operates the car while the tachometer reads in the red areas, it’s called redlining the engine. Prolonged extreme redlining in the tachometer may cause less than optimum performance that could cause excessive wear and tear or permanent damage to the vehicle’s engine (And in case you were wondering if I knew all this before, I didn’t. Thank you, Wikipedia.)

A TACT-ometer is a gauge for your mouth. It serves a significant role for your team’s morale maintenance. It helps the speaker select appropriate words for working conditions. It denotes the maximum safe range for lack of tact, which when exceeded leaves the speaker’s recipient red with embarrassment (or rage). When a speaker regularly operates in the red zone, I call it redlining the team. Prolonged extreme tactlessness or extreme tact may cause less than optimum communication and conflict that could cause excessive wear or permanent damage to relationships. (Sadly, I learned this concept through experience, not Wikipedia.)

 

“Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy.” –Isaac Newton

 

I use the Workplace Big 5 Profile 4.0™ Assessments to help my clients assess their performance on the TACT-ometer. The Workplace Big 5 Profile stimulates changes in self-awareness and identifies ways to maximize your natural talents in a manner that works with your natural energy levels.

Some people who score in the 0 to 35 range don’t believe they lack tact. In fact, the harshest person you know may think that he or she is just being direct and even kind because telling the absolute truth is the right thing to do. Who can argue that much of the time telling the absolute truth is the right thing to do?

 

“Tact is the ability to step on a man’s toes without messing up the shine on his shoes.” –Harry Truman

 

And who can argue that there are times when it isn’t?

The definition of tact can vary depending on the area where you live. Take, for instance, the different regions of the U.S. In one part of the country, being direct (up to and including the point of being blunt) is not only accepted but also expected. In another region, extreme politeness is the norm. These expectations tend to stay with you even when you leave the area you consider “normal.” When people with different definitions of tact work together, office tension is often the result.

Copyright Judy Nelson, Used by Permission Copyright Judy Nelson, Used by Permission

Knowing your natural tendencies regarding tact could help you to choose more consciously what you say and how you say it—i.e., to manage your mouth strategically. I advise my clients to use I-messages. I-messages create responses that feel less accusatory. They demonstrate more tact when used correctly. Unlike You-messages, (e.g. “you always interrupt” or “why don’t you just…?”) I-messages focus on the feelings of the speaker rather than the person they are addressing. They provide a tactful way to deliver a direct response.

 

The Right Words Matter

When it comes to how you communicate, let’s face it: The right words matter!

Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want

Get the Life You Want

Do you have big goals, a plan of action, and the confidence you will achieve your dreams?

Do you daydream about success but don’t really think it’s possible for you?

Do you want to change a wish into a plan?

This week, my wife and I purchased a car. We spent hours researching models, checking safety features, and reading online reviews. After multiple test drives and visits to various dealerships, we finally settled on one she wanted. Then we spent hours more buying it and still more hours learning its various features.

 

“You get what you focus on.” –Daniel Harkavy

 

That’s the way it is when we make a big purchase. I’m sure it’s the same in your home. We do this when planning vacations, too, right? Reading online reviews, choosing hotels, and carefully picking flights or planning a drive. If you’re at the stage where you have a teenager picking a university, you may be experiencing the dizzying array of possibilities. All of it requires time, attention, and careful planning. Whether college, a car, a vacation, or a family event like a wedding, we take the time needed to plan it all out so that we have a memorable experience.

So let me ask you a question.

Do you spend that type of time planning your life?

It seems that many of us go through our lives, accepting what comes, and just “going with the flow.”

What if there was a better way?

 

“People lose their way when they lose their why.” –Michael Hyatt

 

Michael Hyatt has just written a book with Daniel Harkavy that will help you design the life you want.

Living ForwardMichael is the CEO of Intentional Leadership, an online leadership development company. He is the former CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers and also the NYT bestselling author of Platform: Get Noticed in a Noisy World. You may have heard his popular This is Your Life podcast.

Michael also is a close personal friend. He encouraged me to join Twitter and start blogging. I’ve watched him grow his business, but more importantly I’ve watched how he lives his life.

Which is why I am confident you will enjoy his newest book, Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want. Though I don’t know his co-author, Daniel Harkavy, I know he was Michael’s coach. His company, Building Champions, has helped many people get on track to accomplish their goals.

I recently asked Michael a few questions about the new book.

 

Design Your Life

What is a life plan?

A life plan is a brief document where you establish your personal priorities and articulate the steps you need to get from where you currently are to where you want to be. It’s a living document that you write yourself that gives you a view of your life.

 

“The man without purpose is like a ship without a rudder.” –Thomas Carlyle

 

Tell us about your own experience with Life Planning.

Daniel introduced it to me when he was my coach in the early 2000s. Before I created a Life Plan, I spent way too much time at work. That was one area where I did plan, where I was intentional, but I was really drifting in other areas of my life, including my health, family, community life, and everything else that is truly important to me. Life Planning has been transformational for me.

 

“There is no such thing as a compartmentalized life.” –Michael Hyatt

 

Begin With the End in Mind