7 Decisions You Can Make Today to Be More Successful

This is a guest post by Janet Miller. Janet is a mom of four, former Fortune 500 executive and executive coach. She is the cofounder of Jen Reviews and has been featured on Forbes, Fast Company, The Muse, and Tiny Buddha.

How to Be Happier and More Successful

Og Mandino once said, “In truth, the only difference between those who have failed and those who have succeeded lies in the difference of their habits. Good habits are the key to all success. Bad habits are the unlocked door to failure. Thus, the first law I will obey, which precedeth all the others is – I will form good habits and become their slave.”


“Good habits are the key to all success. Bad habits are the unlocked door to failure.” -Og Mandino


They say it takes 21 days to form a habit…or to break one. While the end result may not happen in the blink of an eye, these seven things we will go over today will definitely get you on your way. In the meantime, the happiness you will attain in realizing you are on your way to solidifying good practices will lead to your overall success. So, yes, you will realize a difference on the very first day, today, if you wish.


To most, this would seem like one of the least likely cases for long-term happiness and success, as it might leave you open to being let down. Quite the contrary. In assuming someone’s good intentions, you are allowing yourself to see things from their perspective, which in turn brings out the ability in you to be a good listener. You begin to see that their point has some valid root in something that they themselves find important, and you want to know what that is. It takes away the defensive attitude that we sometimes get when people come up with ideas that are not our own and also curbs our innate subconscious desire for self-righteousness.

Leadership Tip: Always start by believing in someone’s good intent.


2. Write down your goals every day.

Write down your goals every day. Studies show that writing down daily goals significantly improves the accomplishment of those goals. A good idea can also be a fleeting one, and it pays to jot every one of them down and then to arrange them in such a way that you can work from them towards a future arrival point, whether long-term or short-term. It can create and maintain vision, in which you can dream big, decide where you want to eventually be, and know the steps it will take to get there. It solidifies measurability, and creates something you can look back on as you begin to reach the finish line you have created.

“People with written goals accomplish far more in a shorter period of time than people without them could ever imagine.” – Brian Tracy


3. Realize that setbacks can ultimately lead to success.

While intelligence is most often a fixed-in-place factor in our lives, resilience is not. It allows us to cope with and eventually overcome adversity, which is something that can be acted on and improved. As we strengthen our resilience, we are able to recover faster from setbacks, and that makes us a little more open to taking chances that might grant us the possibility of even more success. When failure happens, there are a couple ways to deal with it, and they make a world of difference. One way is to place blame on someone or something else or to feel so badly about it that you learn nothing. This gives no room for moving forward. On the other hand, acknowledgement makes way for setting emotion aside and analyzing the failure in such a way as to move on from it and, eventually, overcome it.

“Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.” –Truman Capote


All kinds of negativity can come from comparing yourself to others. Whether you are looking at success, body image, accomplishments, financial gain or social status, all of this can ultimately result in jealousy and feelings of inferiority. It can even lead to anxiety and depression if allowed to be a constant in life. In no way does it help you achieve a single goal that you have placed for yourself and can actually cause you to stop making progress on your own goals. Instead, focus your energy – both physical and mental – on being the absolute best that you yourself can be.

“Comparison is the thief of joy.” -Theodore Roosevelt


5. Avoid toxic people.

There are studies that have proven that stress can leave a negative impact on the brain that lasts and lasts. Even short-term exposure can leave lasting impressions on the part of the brain responsible for reasoning and memory. Long-term exposure can destroy neurons completely, which is irreversible. To think that stress is not an enemy of happiness and success is to completely ignore the reality of this situation. Being able to manage one’s emotion and reaction to outside stressors has a direct relevance in our lives, and to avoid as much of that as possible from those stressors is of the utmost importance.

Study: Stress has a negative impact on the brain.

32 Quotes to Build Your Confidence

Are You Confident?

Self-confidence: That feeling that we know we can do it, that we have the ability, that we can reach higher and achieve our goals.

To some, confidence feels like a fleeting illusion, a mirage in the desert of dreams. Others learn to tap into confidence like a radiating power.

Don’t mistake confidence for arrogance. Arrogance is destructive, false, and breeds a negative response.

Confidence is something entirely different, armor for everyday battles.

Here are some quotes on confidence to arm you for the day ahead:


“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” –Zig Ziglar


“The man of genius inspires us with a boundless confidence in our own powers.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson


“I found I was more confident when I stopped trying to be someone else’s definition of beautiful and started being my own.” –Remington Miller


“What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?” –Eleanor Roosevelt


“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” –Hellen Keller


“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” –Ayn Rand


“If you want to improve your self-worth, stop giving other people the calculator.” –Tim Fargo


“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” –Lucille Ball


“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” –Theodore Roosevelt


“You have no control over other people’s taste, so focus on staying true to your own.” –Tim Gunn


“Confidence comes with maturity, being more accepting of yourself.” -Nicole Scherzinger


“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” -Peter T. Mcintyre


“The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.” –Unknown


“With confidence, you have won before you have started.” –Marcus Garvey


“Be humble in your confidence yet courageous in your character.” –Melanie Koulouris


“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” –Dalai Lama


“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” -Mark Twain

7 Ways to Build Self-Confidence


Stand Out with Self-Confidence

Dr. Ivan Joseph is the Athletic Director and head soccer coach at Ryerson University. When parents approach him, they often share attributes about their child to impress him. Dr. Joseph is looking for a specific skill above all others. That skill is self-confidence. Most of us think this is a trait, something you’re born with. This coach believes it is a skill and can be developed.


“No one will believe in you, unless you do.” –Dr. Ivan Joseph


7 Ways to Build Self-Confidence

Self-confidence can be built when you consistently:

  1. Do not accept failure.
  2. Practice. Practice.
  3. Do not accept no.
  4. Master your self-talk.
  5. Remove people who tear you down.
  6. Write a self-confidence letter to yourself about your accomplishments.
  7. Repeat positive affirmations throughout the day.

He notes that self-confident people interpret feedback the way they want to because, “No one will believe in you unless you do.”

So many of us think that, when we hit a certain age, we can ignore the skill of self-confidence. What I have seen is that it’s a vitally important skill that can be developed at any stage of your career. No one wants arrogance, but we are all attracted to confidence.


“Get away from the people who tear you down.” –Dr. Ivan Joseph


Are you feeling unworthy? Is your internal voice speaking fear and doubt? Are voices from the past telling you that you can’t do it?

Then try Dr. Joseph’s steps above and increase your self-confidence this week.

And, while you’re at it, sign up below for our free posts. It will fuel your self-confidence.

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“Put yourself in a situation where you say, I’ve done this a thousand times.” –Dr. Ivan Joseph


“Always act like you’re wearing an invisible crown.” –Unknown


“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.” –Blake Lively


“What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?” –Eleanor Roosevelt


“If you do not believe you can do it then you have no chance at all.” –Arsene Wenger


A Guide to Getting Results Without Losing Your Soul

A Management Guide to Winning

How do you create an environment that encourages teamwork and creativity? 

As a manager, do you need to choose between results or relationships?

Is it possible to create sustainable results instead of thinking only of the next quarter?


“Winning well is all about achieving the bottom line while inspiring the human spirit.” –Hurt/Dye


In a practical guidebook, authors Karin Hurt and David Dye share solutions for managers who want both a meaningful work experience and results. Karin is the founder of Let’s Grow Leaders and David of Trailblaze, Inc. Both Karin and David are focused on helping leaders improve their productivity and effectiveness. Their new book, Winning Well: A Manager’s Guide to Getting Results—Without Losing Your Soul is chock full of advice for managers looking to take their game to a higher level.

After reading their new book, I asked them to share their research and experience.


“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing at all.” –Helen Keller


Become A Winning Well Manager

You share a few different management styles and then discuss the “winning well manager.” What distinguishes this type of person? Is it possible for anyone to become that type of manager?

Used by permission. Used by permission.

Managers who win well bring confidence and humility in equal measure and focus on both results and relationships.

Where the other three manager types tend to focus on short-term goals, managers who win well have a longer time horizon. They build teams that will produce results today as well as next year.

Managers who win well build healthy professional relationships with their employees. They maintain high expectations for results in a supportive environment where people can grow and take healthy risks.

They master the art of productive meetings, delegation, and problem solving. They run meetings that people consider a good use of time. These managers practice steady, calm accountability along with celebration.

As a result, their employees tend to stick around (often until they get promoted), and there is a steady line of people wanting to work for them.


“If you’ve communicated something once, you haven’t communicated.” –Hurt/Dye


Create Genuine Connections

If a new manager takes over a team and sees that it is a low-energy environment where people barely get through the day, how does she turn them into an energetic, sustainable team?

We offer a lot of tools and techniques in our book, but it all starts with creating a genuine connection with your people. Start with building relationships and get to know them as human beings. Then help them see why the work they are doing is so meaningful and vital to the larger mission of the organization.

Building a foundation of real trust and genuine connection makes all the difference. Take time to understand and cultivate their intrinsic motivation.


Use Confidence Bursts to Build Momentum

How do the best managers set expectations in that perfect zone, setting a goal that’s not impossible, causing demotivation, but also not a layup, causing the team to stretch?

Winning Well managers do set aggressive goals but they also work to make those goals feel achievable. One of our favorite techniques is the use of “confidence bursts” or breaking down expectations by focusing on a single behavior during a finite period of time to build confidence and momentum.

The idea is to create a full-court press of the given behavior to prove what is possible at individual and organizational levels.Winning Well Bookcover

Build a temporary scaffold of support around employees with lots of extra attention, skill-building, fun, recognition, and celebration. The risk is low—it’s just one day and it doesn’t feel like a big commitment to change. Once people experience success with the behavior, their confidence improves, and the ceiling of what they perceive as possible moves a little higher.

Every time we’ve done this, the results have been head-turning and remarkable. The best part comes in the afterglow discussion: If you (and we) can make this much magic on this day, why not every day?

We find that a few sets of these intervals spaced one month apart can lead to remarkable and lasting results.

You’ll know the behavior has sunk in when the impact of these “burst days” begins to dwindle but the overall results stay high. The behaviors have become so frequent that the extrinsic motivation is no longer necessary. The value in the behaviors has become an intrinsic choice.


We’ve all seen managers struggle with either too much empathy (and thus accepting excuses or not removing a team member) or not enough empathy (cold, uncaring). What tactics have you seen work to coach in this area?

Does Your Body Language Signal Confidence or Weakness?

Ever experience social anxiety or been nervous about an upcoming meeting or job interview? Social psychologist, Amy Cuddy has outlined some simple practices that can help anyone in stressful situations.

Her research indicates that body language can signal power or weakness:


“Don’t fake it ‘til you make it; fake it ‘til you become it.” -Amy Cuddy


Body Language that Signals Weakness and Negativity:

  • Slumping
  • Making yourself small
  • Touching your face or neck
  • Folding your arms


Body Language that Signals Confidence and Positivity:

  • Standing up tall
  • Making eye contact
  • Smiling

So we know body language can definitely affect the way others perceive us, but can it affect the way we perceive ourselves?

“Do our nonverbals govern the way we think and feel about ourselves?”

According to Cuddy’s research, the answer is a resounding yes.

Try it.

Force yourself to smile for five minutes straight and you will begin to feel happy.

Our bodies can change our minds. There are definite physiological differences depending on your body pose. In one study, Curry had a group of people adopt low power poses and the other group high power poses.


Research: Powerful body language can cause hormonal changes in the body.


Boost Your Own Confidence

Afterwards, their saliva was tested and the people with the high power poses had testosterone increase by 20% versus a decrease in testosterone by 10% in the other group. Actual hormonal changes take place in the body.

The group that practiced the positive body pose were much more passionate, authentic and captivating as compared to the negative group. But here’s the kicker, it wasn’t that these individuals were putting on false airs, they were simply comfortable enough to be themselves.


“Our bodies change our minds.” -Amy Cuddy


Strike a Confident Pose