Some people are defined by “yes”. They live to fulfill their “yes”. They dream, plan and act all according to their “yes.” Everything they do revolves around the “yes” of their own lives.
Their opposites are “no” people. These are people who don’t live for their “yes.” Instead, they just try to avoid their own “no.” They never discover their own potential.
My friend Mike Glenn recently wrote a book called The Gospel of Yes. I asked him about the title of this book. He grew up in a way and in a church that defined life with “no.” (As in no drinking, no smoking, no this and no that.)
But, he later realized that life’s power is in the “yes”:
It’s not what we are against, but what we are for.
It’s not what you’re bad at, but what you’re good at.
It’s not about your limitations, but about your gifts.
Brandy Mychals is a speaker, communications expert and creator of the Character Code® System. Her new book, How to Read a Client from Across the Room, is a deep dive into her Character Codes and how to relate to people by understanding their personalities and knowing how they want to be treated – even from across the room.
Let’s start by going back years. You were in two car accidents, and they are important to your story. Your first accident was what can only be described as a freak accident. Describe the accident and how it changed your career path.
I was focused on launching my communications career, possibly working in media or writing when this freak accident occurred. It was only a few months before graduation, and I was driving in LA when I saw a tire flying at me through the air. It had come off the freeway overpass above and since I was driving with oncoming traffic, I had nowhere to go.
The tire crashed through the sun roof of my car and struck my head. It took over a year to fully recover, and part of the healing modality I experienced in that process was chiropractic. I was motivated to use my communication skills with patients and headed off to chiropractic college.
You then built a very successful chiropractic business. What was your formula for small business success?
The first piece of the formula for small business success is to show up and treat it like a business. So many solopreneurs, service providers, health practitioners or creative individuals that have a skill, craft or initials after their name think that learning their technique is enough. That is just the start. When it comes down to it – it is a business and has to be run like one. That means marketing, sales, admin and creating systems. I went through and created every aspect of the business so it would run well, without me having to personally complete each task.
I also always apply a global perspective and focus on where do we want to go? When you are clear about what you want to accomplish, your goals if you will, it actually impacts every decision you make today and tomorrow. That is what gets you there. If the end result isn’t identified, you will never get there because you won’t be clear about the daily steps to arrive there.
Lastly, understanding people, what they need, what they want, what motivates them, how to build a community, following, create buzz and momentum is invaluable. Every business needs an inflow of new business and new clients. Businesses wither and die on the vine if they don’t understand their clients inside and out.
After becoming a chiropractor, fate intervened again, and you had another car accident. This one was worse in many ways, but it also changed your career path.
Yes, I thought I was done with dramatic car accidents, but apparently I had another path to travel.
One of the most important jobs of a manager is to provide feedback. And it’s not just advice from the boss. Whether you’re raising kids or leading a team project, feedback is a critical tool for success.
Effective feedback has nine elements. They are:
If you work for a boss who gives you little to no feedback all year long, then you know the dreaded process. You fill out a performance review form. You schedule a meeting with your boss. You sit down and wait to see what will happen. You have no idea what to expect. You may be nervous, anxious or just plain curious about what she will say.
An effective boss doesn’t wait for performance review time to give feedback. It’s a continual process. I’ve found the most effective feedback is given during informal times—over a cup of coffee or lunch. You have the opportunity to have a discussion about something.
If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t have started this blog without first guest posting for a number of blogs. For a long time. Maybe even so long that I would’ve just done that instead. (I digress.)
By guest blogging, I would have seen some benefits by:
Gaining blogging experience
Allowing the opportunity to share perspective
Testing the water to see whether it was something I enjoyed
Improving blog writing skills
Learning online rules and practices
Adding to industry reputation or brand building (self or company)
Now that I have a blog, I know that the benefits include all of the above and also lead to:
Not too long ago, I wrote a post about how a one-word question can change results. That question was “why?” I suggested that calling your customers and asking why they buy from you is a valuable practice.
As a leader, you should also ask this question. If people are following you only because of your title, then you aren’t a leader at all. Positional power isn’t very valuable. Do people follow you because you help them achieve goals? What value are you bringing to your team? Do you challenge others to help them rise to their full potential?
Understanding why people are listening to you is important. It can help magnify your potential as a leader.