Most of us are surrounded by more stress than ever before. It often starts the minute we get up as our devices feed us headlines. Our jobs require instant and continued results, and yesterday’s accomplishments seem to be remembered less and less.
I recently spoke with Ama Marston about her research into resilience. Ama is an internationally recognized leadership expert who has worked on five continents with global leaders. She is also the founder and CEO of Marston Consulting.
“And onward full tilt we go, pitched and wrecked and absurdly resolute, driven in spite of everything to make good on a new shore.” -Barbara Kingsolver
You start your new book with a gripping account of a car accident that impacted your lives. How did this awful accident impact your life’s work and result in this book?
For my mother, the process of having to recover from sever injuries and learn to walk again ultimately shaped her path to becoming a psychotherapist and stress expert. I was three at the time, but the accident also forged an even stronger lifetime bond between the two of us.
Decades later that led us to support one another while each of us separately faced the financial crisis as business owners, the ups and downs of entrepreneurship, family and health crises, etc. Through ongoing conversations we supported one another and also sought to better understand the convergence of personal, professional, and global turbulence. These challenges were something we were facing ourselves, but that we were each seeing in our respective professions. This was occurring in corporations and in the halls of the United Nations. It was on the minds of our clients and colleagues, global leaders, and our friends and family. So, while it took decades for the impacts of our car accident to come full circle, in some respect it planted a seed for a lifetime of learning about Transformative Resilience together and ultimately collaborating and writing Type R.
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.” -Albert Einstein
Building rapport with yourself is not often mentioned as a skill important to leadership, but it should be at the top of the list.
Christine Comaford is a serial entrepreneur who has built and sold five companies. She’s a columnist for Forbes, the bestselling author of SmartTribes and Rules for Renegades, and a leadership coach. Her latest book, Power Your Tribe: Create Resilient Teams in Turbulent Times shows you how to bring a tribe together to tackle challenges.
Know Who You Are
Why is it important to increase rapport with yourself?
Knowing who we are, what makes us tick, what triggers us is essential in order to lead effectively. To do this we must become more emotionally intelligent. There are two aspects of emotional intelligence: 1) Personal Competence: where we understand what we’re feeling and how to regulate/navigate our emotions and 2) Social Competence: where we discern what others may be feeling and how to navigate their feelings. Personal Competence is a precursor to Social Competence. The greater the rapport we have with ourselves, the more we understand our feelings and can navigate them, the more we can respond to what is happening outside of us versus compulsively reacting. The greater the rapport we have with ourselves, the more curious and compassionate we can become with others and their, at times, challenging behaviors.
Because I do business all over the world, I have the opportunity to travel and learn unique skills. Unless you want to see quick disaster, it’s important to prepare carefully when meeting with counterparts from other cultures.
Recently, I had the opportunity to visit Japan. My experience with Japanese business leaders has always been positive. I appreciate the unique culture. On this trip, I was once again struck by the Japanese hospitality, by their respect, deference, and kindness.
If you’ve ever studied Japanese business etiquette, you may know that the norms are very different from Western standards.
Rank and title are more meaningful than in the United States.
Where to sit at a negotiation table, or at dinner, is carefully orchestrated by rank and standing.
Business cards are exchanged with intention. Hold the business card with both hands and show respect to the person with a slight bow to it. Never put the card in your back pocket or casually put it away. Instead, place it close to your heart in a card case.
The group is more important than the individual.
Slurping soup is proper etiquette and shows your appreciation.
Giving gifts is very important and is a ritualistic exchange.
Toasting is important at dinner.
Nodding is customary to show attention and comprehension.
In the spirit of Fish! and The Go-Giver, Skip Prichard draws on a lifetime of studying success to share the 9 mistakes wildly accomplished people know not to make, so you can avoid them too!
What if the world’s most accomplished people are so successful because they avoid nine pitfalls in life that the rest of us are not aware of? In this self-help wrapped in fiction tale, Skip Prichard introduces a young man named David who with each passing day is becoming more disheartened and stressed. His life isn’t turning out the way he thought it would. Despite having a decent job, apartment and friends, his life just feels hollow…until one day he meets a mysterious young woman and everything starts to change. David will meet nine people who have each discovered a core truth of achieving a successful and satisfying life by recognizing a key mistake they were making.
Like David, most of us are repeating the same mistakes, and while we may learn from them it is often too late and the lesson comes with a good dose of pain. But what if we could identify the mistakes before we made them? This little parable is packed with wisdom that will help you discover and follow your personal purpose, push beyond your perceived capabilities and achieve more than you ever dreamed possible.
Visit www.thebookofmistakes.com for more information.