Disrespect, not doing what you say you will do, and blaming others are some of the toxic behaviors that cause employees to look elsewhere for career growth.
Below are some ways to increase the chances your best employees stay with you.
Harris Interactive: More than 1 in 5 do not feel valued by their employers.
Have a manipulating boss driving you nuts?
Is a co-worker bullying you?
Do you have someone irrational or deceitful in your life?
You’ve tried explaining, tried rationalizing, tried…everything…and still, you get nowhere.
What do you do when you are talking to CRAZY?
“To reach irrational people, you need to know why they’re irrational.” –Mark Goulston
Enter acclaimed psychiatrist Mark Goulston with the answers. Mark’s new book Talking to Crazy: How to Deal with the Irrational and Impossible People In Your Life is a guidebook to dealing with the impossible people that cross your path. His suggestions can be put to work immediately. I know because I did. And they work.
Recently, I asked Dr. Goulston about his exceptional new book and his practical observations and suggestions in dealing with difficult people.
We Are All A Little Nuts
We’re all a bit crazy because we all engage at times in non-rational, non-functional self-preservation (a.k.a. our identity). That means that when the reality of what we are dealing with changes, we will often continue to “do the same things over and over, expecting different results.” The reason for that is because in an increasingly specialized world, the areas in which we feel competent, confident and in control are increasingly narrow. That translates into trying to stay inside those areas rather than adapting to the new situation facing us. By the way, I don’t see “crazy” people as mentally ill. I have great compassion for and spent 30+ years treating people with significant mental illness, because they truly cannot stop acting the way they do until that mental illness – depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, ADHD, schizophrenia, etc. – is treated. To me crazy people are people who can control their behavior, but choose not to. In essence they abuse or take advantage of their relationships. They drive us crazy vs. being truly mentally ill.
I was incredibly moved by Mr. Harding’s story during your residency. What did this teach you?
It taught me not to jump to conclusions or be overly influenced by others before I gather all the information I can from the other person. That means patiently taking the time to truly understand and go to “their there” before I try to fit them into “my here.”
“The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.” –
Lean Into Crazy
If you are going through one of life’s storms or what seems like an unending valley, you may not feel like you will ever experience a sunny day or a mountaintop again. These quotes are designed to encourage you through it all.
“What matters most is how well you walk through the fire.” –Charles Bukowski
“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become.” –Emma Watson
“Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.” –Corrie Ten Boom
“You don’t get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you.” –John Green
“I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you are not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.” –F. Scott Fitzgerald
“Strong people don’t put others down, they lift them up.” –Michael Watson
“You are being tested. And you know what they say my darling, being tested only makes you stronger.” –Downton Abbey
“You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.” –Bob Marley