Turning Pain Into Strength

My friend Robert Goolrick is one of the most remarkable people I’ve met. He’s a first class novelist, writing two New York Times bestselling books: A Reliable Wife and Heading Out to Wonderful. These are stories that will linger with you long after you finish them. He writes the kind of novels you have to tell someone else about. He also wrote the bestselling, non-fiction book The End of the World as We Know It about his unbelievably difficult life.

A Perfect Life?

Look at his life now, and you’d think it was made-for-movie perfect. His books sell millions of copies. He lives a gentleman’s life in Virginia. He travels to exotic destinations. On his wrist, you are bound to see a timepiece to remember.

You may see the external life of dreams, but dig a little more and learn his story.

As an adult….

  • He was fired from his job as an advertising executive.
  • His manuscripts were rejected by publisher after publisher.
  • He was addicted to drugs and drinking.
  • He cut himself.
  • He literally lost a decade of his life in a world you wouldn’t recognize.
  • He was institutionalized.

As a child….

  • He was verbally abused.
  • He lived in squalor (complete with rats!).
  • He was raped. By his father.
  • He was neglected.

Most of us don’t understand that kind of life, that kind of pain. But all of us have obstacles thrown in our path.

Responding to Challenges

With a life like this, what would you expect him to say? I’d probably be a bitter, angry man spewing vitriol at anyone within 100 yards.

Not Robert Goolrick.

Positive Mindset

Here’s what he says about losing his job:

“Being fired was a great thing.  It’s a terrific thing to change your life in your fifties to reinvent yourself, to take everything you’ve learned and use it to become something else, something better, something that makes you happier, something more giving to the world.”

When I ask him about his difficult life:

If you don’t receive love from the ones who are meant to love you, you will never stop looking for it. -Robert Goolrick

“I’m an extremely lucky person.” He credits his strong imagination, a strong interior life, and a strong spiritual life.

What’s extraordinary to me is that he is able to utilize his painful past in a positive way:

“When it came time for me to write, I certainly had things to write about.”

As I reflect on Robert’s life and his work, I realize that there are leadership lessons to remember:

No matter where you start or what you’ve experienced, you can overcome it all and make an impact.

9781616202798Cultivating a strong interior life will help you respond to whatever life throws your way.

You can overcome and live your dream.

You can have a positive outlook.

You can have a remarkable life.

You, too, can be “Heading Out to Wonderful.”

Robert Goolrick’s book Heading Out to Wonderful is now available in paperback. This week, he told me he is busy at work on his next novel. Fans everywhere await.

 

 

 

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  • http://twitter.com/KimunyaMugo Kimunya Mugo

    Skip, thank you for sharing this. It brought tears to my eyes… As I read, I could identify with some of Robert’s issues and his response. Having a positive mind-set goes a long way to heal, forgive and grow. For 30 years, I lived with bitterness and hatred for my father because he was never there for me. I had to grapple through stuff any kid should never experience, including abuse by close relatives. However, I chose to plod on through all adversity… to become a better husband and father. And I am blessed.

    However, it was not until I started writing my new book “Home Bound: Lead at Home in 6 Intentional Steps” that I finally found full healing and ability to fully forgive my father for what he exposed me to. I will be glad to share links to some excerpts on my blog if that’s ok. Keep them coming…

    • http://www.skipprichard.com/ Skip Prichard

      I’m sorry you had to go through a difficult experience. It sounds like you are using the negative events in a way to leave a positive outcome. Best wishes on your new book.

  • http://cindyhirch.com/ Cindy Hirch

    I always admire people who have pressed in and risen above the challenging circumstances in their lives.  Their testimony inspires others that may be struggling to pull themselves out of the pit.  This comment really struck me. “Cultivating a strong interior life will help you respond to whatever life throws your way.” Building that solid foundation is key!

    • http://www.skipprichard.com/ Skip Prichard

      Cindy, I agree–and that internal strong life can create opportunities for the external. All the best to you.

  • Steve Pate

    This is a superb reminder that success and happiness come from within, not from external sources.

    • http://www.skipprichard.com/ Skip Prichard

      Definitely. Often that external success happens only when the internal is first nurtured.

  • http://www.chancescoggins.com/ chance

    Wow!  What a story he’s lived!  His perspective is inspiring, given the tough road he’s walked.  Nice flow to interview, Skip.  Well done!

    • http://www.skipprichard.com/ Skip Prichard

      Thanks, Chance. He is an inspiration!

  • http://twitter.com/mlharper Michelle Harper

    What a powerful story. Isn’t it wonderful that he was able to reinvent himself in his fifties?     It reminds me of the quote (often wrongly attributed to Eliot), “you are never too old to be what you are might become.”   As I grow older, I look more and frequently for these stories.  :)

    I will look for his autobiography and his fictional works as well.  I love the way he talks about his writing as healing process.  Beautiful!

    • http://www.skipprichard.com/ Skip Prichard

      Then, who is the author of that quote, I wonder?
      Yes, I love his reinvention. He has a magical appeal because he reinvented himself many times, and has overcome tragedy beyond what I could imagine. That’s heroic to me.

  • http://sparkvoice.wordpress.com/ DS

    No matter what you’ve experienced – you can overcome it all.  Thanks for introducing me to this author and the encouragement to not allow obstacles/trials to keep you down.

    • http://www.skipprichard.com/ Skip Prichard

      Best wishes as you conquer in coming days.

  • http://twitter.com/theprfreelancer ThePRFreelancer

    Skip, I always read your posts, but rarely comment.  This thought is so powerful:  ”No matter where you start or what you’ve experienced, you can overcome it all and make an impact.”  Thanks for starting my day out with a smile.

    • http://www.skipprichard.com/ Skip Prichard

      Thank you for your comment. It really means a lot to me. And I’m glad this spoke to you.

  • Beverly Mansfield

    What a good interview, Skip. Mr. Goolrick owes you royalties on the 2 copies of his books you sold me this morning… The prospect of reading them makes me actually look forward to my long plane ride this weekend.

    • http://www.skipprichard.com/ Skip Prichard

      I’m so glad you enjoyed. His writing is top shelf.