5 Steps to Correct Distortions at Work

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Photo by Ruth Flickr on flickr.

Someone, who I will call Michael for this post, once told me, “If you want to know what Michael thinks, ask Michael.”  Apparently Michael had seen this before.  Many of the things he supposedly said were distorted when others repeated them.  In some cases, his supposed conversation simply never happened.  And this was a recurring event.

There are many reasons this can happen.  It could be simple miscommunication or a mistake.  It could be the sign of a manipulative person.  It could also be a damaged culture, creating conversations to serve various political interests.  The fact that it happens frequently is definitely a concern.  The fact that others may run with it without verifying it is also a concern.

Yogi Berra once said, “I never said most of the things I said.”

Buzz Bissinger: From Friday Night Lights to Fatherhood

Buzz & Zach jacket photo

Image courtesy Buzz Bissinger

Buzz Bissinger has so many awards for his writing that I’m not sure where he can keep them all:  the Pulitzer Prize, the Livingston Award, the American Bar Association Silver Gavel Award, the National Headliners Award among many others.  He is best known for his nonfiction book Friday Night Lights.  His newest book is called Father’s Day, a deeply personal and moving book about his relationship with his two sons.  Born premature and just minutes apart, his twin boys ended up very different because of a few precious minutes.

Here is an interview with the talented Buzz Bissinger:

I described this story, or as the subtitle aptly points out, this journey, to someone recently.  I’m curious, though, how would you describe the book in a few words?

Father’s Day is a journey across the country. But it is really the journey of a lifetime, both to discover a son who is different from the mainstream and also my own journey to better understand myself and the degree to which my relationship with my own father, my ambition, my insecurities, have informed me as a parent and father.

In this very personal, and remarkably candid journey, we meet your entire family.  But obviously the focus is on your extraordinary son, Zach.  You take a cross country trip in part to know your son. I haven’t met him, but you can’t finish the book without feeling you know him as well as it may be possible to know him.  When I finished, I flipped all the way back to the first pages where I underlined this: “I love my son deeply, but I do not feel I know him nor do I think I ever will.”  By the end of the trip, did that change for you?

Yes. I found all sorts of emotions and abilities in Zach I never knew were there—remarkable empathy, his determination to be responsible and independent, his powers of observation even when I didn’t think he was paying any attention, his steadying influence upon me when I grew volatile. 

Take Our Introvert/Extrovert Quiz, Plus 5 Relationship Tips for Your Opposite

Lousy Date Photo

Image courtesy of istockphoto/jhorrocks

When I was much younger, I was what you would call an extreme extrovert.  Myers Briggs showed my “E” was almost as high as you could go.  If I went into a small restaurant, I almost felt uncomfortable unless I introduced myself to everyone else in the room.  I wanted to know everyone.  All of my energy came from other people—listening to their stories, learning what made them who they were.

I married someone who was the complete opposite.  My wife was an introvert.  We would go to a social event, and I would come home exhilarated while she would be exhausted.  It’s not that she didn’t love people.  It was just that she tired out around too many people.  She needed alone time.  She preferred one-on-one versus huge gatherings.

I’ve heard many successful relationships are built on differing qualities.  “Opposites attract” is the old saying.  If that’s true, the couples I’ve studied who have been together for many years generally start to inherit qualities from each other.