5 Thieves of Happiness

5 Thieves of Happiness

Be Happier This Year

 

What if happiness was your natural state?

What if we are seeking something on the outside that is found on the inside?

How do you recognize and lock out the five thieves that want to steal your happiness?

That’s what John Izzo teaches. He believes that happiness is being stolen by mental patterns. Five thieves are working to destroy your happiness.

All of us can recognize these thieves and learn to lock them out of our lives.

John Izzo, PhD, is a speaker and author of six books. I read his latest, The Five Thieves of Happiness and enjoyed its thoughtful approach. I recently asked him about his latest work.

 

“Happiness is our natural state.” -John Izzo

 

The Science of Happiness

Why is the study of happiness and the pursuit of happiness such a rage today?

Well, I think some of the things that used to make us happy such as a sense of community and connection have been lost. So, a loss of place and being more urban is now a contributor. Also, a rising middle class focuses more on happiness. They say there is also something bigger when things in the larger society seem out of control—things like climate change, terrorism, the pace of change. We realize we cannot control these things so we often focus in where we can change—which, by the way, is a good instinct because it is where all societal change begins anyway. Finally, I think the fact that science has started to study happiness in a serious way helps because maybe people feel that you can actually hardwire happiness rather than thinking that some people are simply happy.

 

“For there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.” -Shakespeare

 

“Attention without attachment” immediately pulled me in. How do we best make this a daily practice?

It is a critical concept for happiness. Attention is about the actions we take, the intention we have moment to moment. Attachment is a focus on a goal or what is called in yoga a “sticky desire.” Here is a simple example: I play a great deal of tennis. Attention is about being in the present moment at every point in a match. Being aware of my body, how I want to hit the ball and seeing what is happening around me. There is great happiness in playing and even the artistry of the moment-to-moment intention to improve. Winning the match is attachment and is something I cannot control. The more I focus on my attachment to winning, the less happiness I will have and, ironically, the less likely I am to win. The way we cultivate this is to first recognize the difference when it shows up. When we feel that happiness is in the outcome we must stop that thought and instead have this mantra: “I choose to be in the present moment accepting whatever is. The outcome is not in my control.” This takes training of the mind which we have trained to focus on attachment to what we cannot control: the future. When our intentions don’t lead to our desired outcome, we must then simply re-choose how to be in the present moment again. So, you lost the match, the relationship, the promotion, or even playing golf this afternoon when the rainstorm ruined it. Once you see that unhappiness is resistance to whatever is at any moment. Happiness is being present in each moment and open to what might arrive. Never confuse this with some resigned passivity. I am still going to practice hard for the next match, but it is attention without attachment.

 

“Routine is deadening to the human soul.” -John Izzo

 

5 Thieves of Happiness

1: Control

2: Conceit

3: Coveting

4: Consumption

5: Comfort

 

Practice Accepting What Is

Surrender is the opposite force from control. But it’s so far from easy for many of us. How do we build up a reservoir of surrender energy to be used just when we need it?

5 Thieves of HappinessSurrendering is very hard for most people. It begins with the realization that all emotional and spiritual suffering is resistance to whatever is happening at any given moment. This may seem like hyperbole, but it isn’t. All the great teachers taught surrender in one form or another. I think you start by practicing with the little things. You had a busy day and can’t wait to get home; suddenly there is an accident, and you’re stuck in traffic for an hour. Practice accepting what is with no resistance, surrendering to the outcome and asking, “How can I find joy or meaning right now?” If you practice surrendering to the small detours in life, you will be ready for the big ones like the death of someone you love or your eventual loss of health. We are a society of doers, so we don’t like surrender, but my idea of surrender is not simply giving up. It is embracing whatever is while trying to influence it as best I can. But surrender comes before action. Acting from what I call “surrender energy” is more powerful because you aren’t taking on the misery of attachment. You begin with the little stuff because if you can’t surrender to that, you have no chance when the big stuff shows up.

 

“The future cannot be controlled, only experienced.” -John Izzo

 

Serve Something Outside Yourself

The Secret Success Lesson I Learned from a Total Stranger

thanks in advance

Be Thankful In Advance

 

“Thank God in advance for what’s already yours.” –Denzel Washington

 

Around Thanksgiving, we often ask each other, “What are you most thankful for this year?”

Over the years, I’ve heard many answers to that question. I remember one man, years ago, who was sitting at a lunch counter next to me. I was waiting for a to-go order. Now, I won’t call him old, but at the time, I was maybe 20, and he was many years my senior. His face was lined, his hair as white as it could possibly be, and his eyes had a look of mischief mixed with wisdom. It was a few days before Thanksgiving.

I asked him the question as a conversation-starter, and he nodded, a demonstration he was processing.

“I’m most thankful for my business success next year. Growing faster than ever. Having to hire more people to help with the growth. And the expansion to another location. That was more than I expected.”

The place was getting louder. Clearly I heard him wrong, so I clarified.

“You mean this year.”

“No, next year.”

“You’re thankful for opening another location for your business next year?”

“Yes, definitely. It’s even more successful than our first location.”

I didn’t even know what business he was in, but I was beginning to think he was losing some of his mental faculties.

Until he continued….

“See, I’m thankful for what’s happening next year. I am so thankful. I think about the people who made it happen, and I think about the results. I spend a lot of time thinking about them.”

My sandwich was now ready, so I paid for it and took the change. I thanked the man for sharing.

As I was gathering up my things, he asked me the return question. “What about you, son? What are you most grateful for?”

I remember responding quickly. “You. I’m thankful for you.”

And I was gone.

I don’t recall the sandwich I ate from the restaurant. But I sure do remember that conversation. I didn’t realize the power of it then. This gentleman had unlocked a secret. It was visualization with a powerful twist. He not only saw himself achieving his dreams, but he was already thanking people – in advance – for the success.

 

“Visualization is daydreaming with a purpose.” –Bo Bennett

 

Master the Surprising Timing of Gratitude

Gratitude is often the surprising key to success in any venture.

What most of us seem to get wrong is the timing of gratitude. We think the time to be grateful is after. This man taught me that we should be thankful in the first place.

32 Quotes to Build Your Confidence

Self-confidence

Are You Confident?

Self-confidence: That feeling that we know we can do it, that we have the ability, that we can reach higher and achieve our goals.

To some, confidence feels like a fleeting illusion, a mirage in the desert of dreams. Others learn to tap into confidence like a radiating power.

Don’t mistake confidence for arrogance. Arrogance is destructive, false, and breeds a negative response.

Confidence is something entirely different, armor for everyday battles.

Here are some quotes on confidence to arm you for the day ahead:

 

“You are the only person on earth who can use your ability.” –Zig Ziglar

 

“The man of genius inspires us with a boundless confidence in our own powers.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

“I found I was more confident when I stopped trying to be someone else’s definition of beautiful and started being my own.” –Remington Miller

 

“What could we accomplish if we knew we could not fail?” –Eleanor Roosevelt

 

“Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.” –Hellen Keller

 

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” –Ayn Rand

 

“If you want to improve your self-worth, stop giving other people the calculator.” –Tim Fargo

 

“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line. You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.” –Lucille Ball

 

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” –Theodore Roosevelt

 

“You have no control over other people’s taste, so focus on staying true to your own.” –Tim Gunn

 

“Confidence comes with maturity, being more accepting of yourself.” -Nicole Scherzinger

 

“Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.” -Peter T. Mcintyre

 

“The quickest way to acquire self-confidence is to do exactly what you are afraid to do.” –Unknown

 

“With confidence, you have won before you have started.” –Marcus Garvey

 

“Be humble in your confidence yet courageous in your character.” –Melanie Koulouris

 

“With realization of one’s own potential and self-confidence in one’s ability, one can build a better world.” –Dalai Lama

 

“All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.” -Mark Twain

12 Traits That Inspire Deep Loyalty

Young determined businessman with hammer in hands

Your Team Will Go Through Brick Walls

Have you ever had a leader that inspires deep loyalty in you?

It’s that rare individual who not only inspires, but has an unwavering belief in you.  You don’t want to let this person down.  You go the extra mile because you want to prove you can do it.

 

“A leader must inspire or his team will expire.” -Orrin Woodward

 

 

You have certainly experienced the opposite.  The person who wears the title of leader, but you are unwilling to do more than the minimum.

What is it about a leader that makes you want to go through brick walls?  What can you do to become that person and inspire your team?

A leader who inspires performance is one who:

1. Believes

A leader who believes in you fuels the success engine.  When you put your belief in someone, he will generally rise to the challenge. Your belief acts as an inoculation against doubt.

“A leader who believes in you fuels the success engine.” -Skip Prichard

 

2. Cheerleads

A leader who is an encouraging force inspires. Cheer someone along and that person will want to win.

Leadership Tip: Double your encouragement and it’s likely to still not be enough.

 

3. Praises

Publicly or privately, when you praise someone, watch what happens. I’m talking genuine praise at just the right level and delivered at just the right time. Too much and it loses its power, but it’s next to impossible to hit a “too much” level.

“A ruler should be slow to punish and swift to reward.” -Ovid

 

4. Communicates

When you practice open, honest and direct communication, you increase trust. A lack of communication is the cause of more problems in an organization than you can imagine.

“Good communication is as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after.” – Anne Morrow Lindbergh

 

5. Teaches

When you teach concepts and share examples, it makes a difference in your organization and in your people. The best leaders are teachers. Not always obviously or in your face, but everyone is learning because the leader is teaching.

Leadership Tip: the best leaders are teachers.

 

6. Models

When you model the way, it inspires everyone around you. You simply cannot say one thing and do another. Do what you say you will do. Don’t ask your followers to do one thing while you are doing another.

“Consistently doing what you say you will do is the foundation of integrity.” -Skip Prichard

 

7. Promotes

When you promote and advocate on someone’s behalf, it creates loyalty. That person knows you have her back and that you are advocating on her behalf. Publicly sharing successes and attributing someone’s good work makes a difference.

17 Benefits of Thankfulness and Gratitude

Grateful Thankful Blessed Benefits of Gratitude

Thankfulness and Gratitude

In the United States, we celebrate Thanksgiving this week. That usually means overindulging in food, football, and family. It’s also a time to increase our gratitude for the many blessings we have.

 

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.” -Cicero

 

For years, I have studied the benefits of an attitude of gratitude. I’m amazed at study after study that demonstrates its incredible power. Gratitude helps us:

  • Reduce depression
  • Get promotions at work
  • Improve our self esteem
  • Increase our energy
  • Develop a strong immune system
  • Decrease blood pressure
  • Increase sleep quality
  • Reduce and cope with negative stress
  • Eat healthier
  • Have deeper friendships
  • Increase productivity
  • Improve job performance
  • Become more likable
  • Reach goals faster
  • Increase feelings of happiness and wellbeing
  • Reduce negative emotions such as envy, hatred, and anger
  • Increase positive emotions such as love and empathy

There are many ways to increase gratitude in our lives. One of the best ways is to start a gratitude journal.

But, let’s face it: many of us won’t commit to doing that. So, let’s make this simple. Let’s improve our spirit of thanksgiving and gratitude right now, whatever we are doing, wherever we are, even if we are not celebrating Thanksgiving.

3 Steps to Boost Thanksgiving