5 Ways to Listen Better

The Power of Listening

One of my goals is to listen better. It’s one of those perpetual goals that shows up in my end-of-year self-contemplation. I aspire to be a better listener. Previously, I wrote about some tips to be a power listener.

That’s why I was drawn to Julian Treasure’s work on listening. Julian is an expert who lectures extensively on communications.

In a world that is faster and louder than ever, it can be difficult to slow down and truly listen.

 

“Listen consciously to live fully.” –Julian Treasure

 

5 Ways to Improve Your Conscious Listening

Julian shares 5 ways to improve your conscious listening:

  1. Spend at least three minutes a day being completely silent.
  2. Listen to each distinct sound. If you are outside, close your eyes and consciously listen to the birds or the passing car.
  3. Listen to the sound of the mundane, the dryer or coffee maker, what Treasure refers to as “the hidden choir” all around us.
  4. Listening positions. This is active vs. passive listening. Passive listening is watching a movie while active listening is engaged listening in a conversation. Critical vs. empathetic listening. Critical listening is listening for the bottom line like in a lecture and empathetic listening lets the speaker know you are in line with them emotionally.
  5. He uses the acronym RASA for the art of listening:

R = Receive.

This is all about paying attention in order to receive the communication.

A = Appreciate.

This is when we make little sounds so the speaker knows we are listening.

 

“Conscious listening creates understanding.” –Julian Treasure

 

S = Summarize.

I use this one myself quite a bit. You echo back to the speaker, “So what you are saying is…” It is a wonderful check-in point to determine if you have heard what was said as intended.

A = Ask.

Ask questions. Not only does it show you are listening, but it helps to clarify points you may have missed.

 

Are you trying to improve your own listening skills? What tips work for you?

 

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Why Leaders Must Develop An Outward Mindset

The Outward Mindset

Develop the Outward Mindset

Your mindset is the key to your success, your happiness, and your ability to perform at exceptional levels. Your mindset is how you look at yourself and the world around you. An internal mindset is one blind to others, what they need, and how to create collective results.

Jim Ferrell, co-founder and Managing Partner of The Arbinger Institute is the author/co-author of multiple bestselling books, including Leadership and Self-Deception and The Anatomy of Peace. His latest book, co-authored with Mitchell Warner, is The Outward Mindset.

 

It’s as eye opening and important as his earlier work.

I recently spoke with Jim about his research on perspective and personal effectiveness. The ideas in this new book can improve performance, spark collaboration, and accelerate innovation.

 

“The secret to teamwork is an outward mindset.” –Steve Young

 

How to Change Lives and Transform Organizations

Would you introduce the concept of “The Outward Mindset”?

With an outward mindset, we see others as people like ourselves, whose goals, objectives, needs, and challenges matter to us. With an inward mindset, on the other hand, we see others as objects whose primary value to us depends on the extent to which we think they can help us with our own goals and objectives.

Our new book, The Outward Mindset, is about the key differences between these two mindsets and how to move to an outward mindset. The real-life stories in the book illustrate the dramatic difference in influence and results that individuals, teams, and organizations see as they shift to more of an outward-mindset orientation. The book details both how to personally make this shift and how to help others—individuals and whole organizations—to make it.

 

“Too many leaders assume that the role of leadership is to control.” –Jim Ferrell

 

Shift to the Outward Mindset

You share some powerful stories of shifting to an outward mindset. Are there “typical” difficulties and struggles in making this shift, especially if you found someone who was way off the scale on the inward side?

The biggest challenge is people linking their own mindset change to a change in others. When people have an inward mindset, they characteristically blame their struggles—and even their own mindsets—on others. They believe that they have to have an inward mindset in order to defend themselves against all the people around them who have an inward mindset. We demonstrate in the book how this belief is mistaken. We show that the most important move—both in organizations and in life generally— is for people to shift to an outward-mindset approach even when others around them persist in inwardness. This is a very powerful move, and the willingness to do it is one of the most important elements of transformational leadership.

As for someone being way off the scale on the inward side, most people are a mix of the two mindsets. Someone who is tyrannically inward in one part of their life, for example, may be quite different in other contexts. This means that people often are much closer to a change to an outward mindset than many people around them may believe.

 

“How much larger your life would be if your self could become smaller in it.” –GK Chesterton

 

The Incredible Results of an Outward Mindset

What results do you see after the shift has occurred?

Wow, it’s hard to know where to begin. At its most basic level, a change to an outward mindset transforms the health and vitality of relationships. It’s easy to see why this would be the case. When we are connected to others in an others-inclusive way—where we see others as people who matter like we ourselves matter—we tend to do much better with others (and they with us!) than when we are self-focused and see others as objects or tools to be used for our own purposes.

As a result of this transformational effect on relationships, one of the interesting things we often find in our work with organizations is that even the non-work relationships of the people we work with dramatically improve. I can’t tell you the number of times people have told us that our work has saved their marriages or healed the rifts in their relationships with their parents, siblings, or children.

For the same basic reason, a shift to an outward mindset in the workplace dramatically improves the abilities of teams, departments, and whole organizations to work productively together. These improvements show up in organizational climate, engagement surveys, customer satisfaction scores, and in the bottom line results of organizations.

Jim Ferrell

How does the outward mindset manifest itself in individual and team goals?

Although people generally aren’t aware of this, most organizational systems, incentives, and goals are inherently inward in nature. They invite people to focus on themselves and their own activities and levels of performance rather on the impact of their activities on others.

As a result, the move to an outward mindset often dramatically changes the objectives and metrics that people and organizations pursue and utilize. You can imagine, for example, how a person’s view of his own job responsibilities would change if he knew that he was responsible not only for certain outputs but also for the impact of those outputs (and the way he went about delivering them) on others.

When individuals and organizations get serious about moving to more of an outward-mindset approach, they start paying attention to and measuring their impact, not just their activities or outputs.

 

“All action results from thought, so it is thoughts that matter.” -Sai Baba

Winners Give Just A Little Bit More

Olympics

Expend Just A Little More Effort

The Olympics offers us innumerable lessons on leadership and winning.

Watching some of my favorite competitions, I am once again reminded of the razor-thin margins that separate the top from the bottom.

 

“A winner is just a loser who tried one more time.” –George Augustus Moore

 

In many events, the difference between the treasured gold medal and not placing at all is nearly undetectable. A first-place finish often can be measured only by going out into the hundredth of a second. Many of us remember watching Michael Phelps win his 7th Gold medal by a finger tip. Without the power of technology, and slow motion replays, it can be questionable who won an event.

 

“You become a champion by fighting one more round.” –James Corbett

 

That fraction of a second reminds me of how winners often give just a little bit more:

  • The bodybuilder who performs just 1 more rep every practice
  • The swimmer who practices by pushing just 1 more lap
  • The sales person who wins makes just 1 more call
  • The football player who spends just 1 extra minute at practice
  • The leader who writes just 1 more thank-you note
  • The friend who pens 1 note of encouragement
  • The writer who writes 1 more page
  • The student who reads just 1 more chapter
  • The runner who pushes 1 more mile
  • The coach who coaxes her team to 1 more victory

 

Disciplined activity is what moves us into the direction of success.

 

“The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.” –Thomas Edison

 

+1 Your Day Today

Consistently giving +1 to our goals is often what creates the winning edge.